people are rejoicing everywhere... yesterday the Supreme Court of the United States decided that marriage is between two people, not two genders, and that it was a right, not a legally regulated privilege. congrats to gays and lesbians, you can now suffer through angry divorce like the rest of us.
yesterday, even Fox News spent all day celebrating this grand success, no news channel could ignore it, the hype could not be avoided because we as a nation have decided this is the issue we want to focus on.
while i understand that this is a huge step forward for civil rights in our country, here's why i'm not going to spend a week celebrating:
-on the same day which started with this ruling, 3 terrorist attacks were made, one was even a suicide bombing in a mosque, and ISIS has instructed radicals worldwide to do their best to unite and cause synchronized efforts of terror. terrorism experts believe this was the first such effort.
-one of the two murderers on the run in New York was killed, the other is still loose, and he's just as willing to get in a gunfight with whoever he comes across.
-Homeland Security announced a spike in terrorist traffic, and expects attacks on US soil during the next few weeks.
-Clementa Pinckney was laid to rest, POTUS sang amazing grace, and instead of blaming a zealot, we blame a flag, which will lead to endless debate and posturing instead of progress.
-we all owe Japan and China a combined $3TRILLION
...and most importantly (and probably most ignored)...
-the United States and it's NATO allies continued to increased their forces along the border with Russia, as the Russian economy plunges and their point the finger at the United States. THIS IS IMPORTANT, remember the 80s?? if you don't understand why this is important, go watch the movie 'The Day After'.
yes people, while we all celebrate and brace ourselves against the tree of love hoping to crush the crazy Christian zealots we have annoying us here, there are armies of armed zealots overseas organizing and hoping to put us all under 'sharia law'. if you don't know what it is, Google it.
they are so crazy, they have turned on their own people.
murderers are running around shooting at federal officers, and we're calling for gun control because of a flag, and we have no idea what to expect from these mid-level news stories, because we are ignoring the only other major superpower that is threatening to start the next major global war.
yes - understand this - if the Russian economy continues to plummet, and we continue to increase our military presence along it's border, that is what is looming.
and before we all start posturing about oil companies and rich white men - this is because we agreed to defend NATO, and it wasn't long ago that our current president, Barrack Obama, went to the NATO summit and pledged to continue to move our people in and help them as needed.
so this is looming. it's a definite possibility, and if we get Russia to calm down, we still owe China, and we still have armed radicals killing people all over Europe, Africa, and the Middle East, hoping soon to move over the pond and start problems here.
it's time for a short and joyous celebration, gays and lesbians are people - they are human beings, and morons like Westboro need to sit down and accept it. but our problems aren't the cry babies at Westboro, and they aren't the lone gunman who shot up a church - our problem is the looming world war, the horrific debt, and the real religious zealots who are working every day toward us.
even now, you're reading this and some of you are thinking i'm an ass for taking the wind out of the sails of this glorious moment. no, that's not my point. i'd like to think even those who worked hardest on this landmark decision would agree that avoiding global war and the oppression of sharia law is more important.
so celebrate on some level, be happy for those who can now make their love legally official... but, let's make sure we don't misunderstand what other problems are looming and need to be addressed, problems that can not be solved without the loss of countless lives.
Saturday, June 27, 2015
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
you no longer have privacy
today i write to you about privacy... which is important to some for many reasons, some valid, some not, and some don't care at all.
in the end, whether you realize it or not, you have no privacy, you lost it a long time ago.
now, you may be able to keep tons of secrets from the people in your world, but really, they probably aren't looking.
let's face it, most people are too lazy to follow another person around to really figure out their secrets, your friends will give up on you if they think you're shady and if you are that shady your family realized it a long time ago and probably do everything they can to hide your secrets for you so they can act like they are oblivious and keep the family Christmas on track.
BUT - on some level, what i'm about to tell you still applies.
when i mention privacy, first people think about themselves and what would embarrass them. and sure, it would be bad to get caught sleeping around or stealing, but that's really just the tip of the iceberg. the rant your daughter spews out about how you invaded her privacy by listening in while she talked to Cindy about how she totally wants to get with Johnny, but she doesn't want to break up with Steve, sure, that's a valid claim on privacy, but really, that is the least of your family's problems.
eventually, your daughter will be caught being the filthy tramp she is... don't worry. sure she will be friendless, and you will regret not putting your foot down years ago when she used privacy as her loophole to a life of immaturity, but in the future your bigger problem will be larger than whatever lies you have to use to enable her behavior and keep the family vacation together.
because privacy isn't completely about immature behavior, or how embarrassed you are by someone else. because embarrassment is only half the problem.
yes, the odds are good she is going to have trouble finding a job when the potential new employer finds out she used her last job as a dating pool... and yes, that is embarrassing.
but it can be even worse.
as you show up to the therapy session your family needs to deal with the latest set of drama, there are cameras everywhere. and those cameras will recognize who you are.
you think i'm kidding, but i'm not. (for proof, check out the first link at the bottom)
security and surveillance system are doing much more than providing your daughter's coworkers with video of the drunken strip-tease she thought she was only doing with the man she just met at the company retreat and is totally in love with.
sure, also embarrassing, but again only half the problem.
because when the man she's totally in love with realizes she's crazy and dumps her like every other guy and you end up dragging her to therapy the systems there to protect you will then SELL YOU OUT...
and not to the local tabloid, because no one cares about her continued nonsense, she may think she's a rock star, but she's not.
no, you'll be sold out to a marketing firm, who then takes your data and logs it as a face that was showing up every Tuesday and Thursday at 3pm with your husband and daughter and going into Suite 245, which address records show as Dr. Crazypeople. they will then start to market to you and your family things that typically market to people with your kind of crazy needs.
with that, they relay this information to your health insurance company (even though you paid cash to keep your privacy)... who proceeds to raise your rates because they have proof of a family history of irrational behavior and mental illness.
when you get the letter and look at your spouse and wonder how two people that lead a completely boring life could get accused of such things, you will want to sue someone for the invasion of your privacy.
but you can't.
over time, your face is seen by more security cameras... when you stop by a car dealership to pick up a friend, or when you eat fast food, and all of that is logged. suddenly it could impact your credit report, and cause you to get mail about pre-planning funerals while you're still in your 50s.
and maybe - just maybe - you think you're someone who's avoided the problem. you think you're above it, you're not on Facebook, you don't really do email, and you shy away from those crazy interwebs.
it doesn't matter.
first, your daughter has undoubtedly already posted pictures of you online. from MySpace to Facebook to Instagram (owned by Facebook) and the old reliable Twitter, anything from her pic with you as she leaves to go to prom, and your relieved face in the pic she posted after her extensive stint in college. and maybe, it's not even her fault. pictures are probably online of you from a company event, a charity function, a softball league, or something as innocent as your local church.
that picture identifies you, then that face is matched to the security cameras and suddenly the machine has you.
and aside from the cameras, other random things like your information from the auto club or your purchase history with your credit card sold you out. in fact, a recent article (link below) from Wired magazine mentions that those who don't have a social presence online probably have a 'Shadow Profile', a profile for you with them so they can have a placeholder for you while they data mine your information.
PLUS - technology is in place to start taking pictures of you and guess at what you'll look like in the future, so the Shadow Profiles can match you in case you happen to drop out of site for a while. (to test that, there's a link below).
government? sure there is a valid concern from the conspiracy freaks about government abusing this power as well... but really, you need to decide if you want higher mortgage rates and being added to a no-fly list over your daughter's need for therapy.
those days are coming... in the last link i've posted below, an Italian speaker at a TED Talk goes over the same information i've mentioned here. he's got a VERY thick accent, and can be difficult to listen to at times, but he points out that the 2002 film Minority Report showed the lead character walking through a mall where all the nearby advertising was targeted at him. and the technology to make that happen is already well under development, and we have been more than happy to provide the needed data.
on some level, you should be angry at yourself for not setting your daughter straight because her problems are about to become yours. but really, we should all have a larger concern. i have the same first and last name as my father, and a confusion in records could cause ME to start getting marketing (and pricing, and limitations) meant for him. on some level, this has already happened... in my attempt to get smoking cessation medication, it was improperly processed as his at first, and rejected due to his age, even though the prescription was for me.
and even now i'm typing this, and i've told the planet that i have smoked a cigarette - soon the computers will log this information and i will forever be branded.
think about that, if you've ever used a credit card to buy cigarettes, that has been recorded, as was your face on the security cameras. they may not have been for you, but now the world knows - the machine knows.
and while many feel they've avoided these problems, led clean lives, no crazy kids, and don't use the internet except for company email... don't be fooled. every email system out there scans your email 'to improve system performance', and every cell phone logs your location - it has to, for your safety, by federal law.
so - many people will read this and think they can't control it and don't care what happens as long as their personal day to day life isn't impacted (basically, they are still only going to care if they get embarrassed). well, realize that people are buying this information, some of it is freely available and some is available to anyone willing to pay for it... so really, it's only a matter of time until you're embarrassed.
HOW DO WE SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?
we can't unless we become aware. this is going to happen, and unless your plan is to live alone on an island, this future is on some level unstoppable. you can forever live in your own private bliss by telling yourself that your daughter isn't the troubled person everyone else thinks she is, but that wouldn't have stopped the gossips from talking about her behavior before the internet, and it's not going to stop the machine from doing what it does now. personal privacy about personal issues will start to infect your life, and the simple will have the potential to spin into the complex.
current legislation worldwide effectively ignores the potential problem to consumers and each person's sanity, and most people are so completely unaware of the problem they don't know to start complaining.
we live in a society where most feel helpless against technology, and many do not question what's pushing them around. let's face it, when your daughter doesn't show up to a family brunch and claims she was too busy doing something else, you're not going to go through the trouble of looking through all the security cameras possible to find out she slept in at some random guy's place. you'd rather not be disappointed in her and deal with that... but the same does not apply to the machine. and like your daughter, the machine will start pushing you around.
and worse, millenials have less of an expectation of privacy, and the machine knows, it's logging as much as it can, and it knows that you won't have the guts to ask your kids if they use Instagram or Facebook, and see what they post... even though they've probably posted pictures of you.
so sure, the best advice i can give you is to lead a clean life, pay your bills, don't buy cigarettes in the seedy part of town... and yeah, probably set your daughter straight early in life. but really, we all need to be aware of what's going on around us.
if you don't believe this is already happening, go online and search for some random type of product. search for 'new pizza oven' or 'golf equipment'... then watch the ads on various websites you visit start to target you with italian food and golf resorts. this very basic web technology is the start, and the future will be decided by the machine as it tells you what you wanted, helps sell you more, and also limits you based on what it thinks is your past.
click here for information about facial recognition available today
the Wired article that mentions 'Shadow Profiles'
this website will formulate your future appearance
here's an article about Facebook using your phone to target you
click here to watch a video from a more informed person than i about this topic
in the end, whether you realize it or not, you have no privacy, you lost it a long time ago.
now, you may be able to keep tons of secrets from the people in your world, but really, they probably aren't looking.
let's face it, most people are too lazy to follow another person around to really figure out their secrets, your friends will give up on you if they think you're shady and if you are that shady your family realized it a long time ago and probably do everything they can to hide your secrets for you so they can act like they are oblivious and keep the family Christmas on track.
BUT - on some level, what i'm about to tell you still applies.
when i mention privacy, first people think about themselves and what would embarrass them. and sure, it would be bad to get caught sleeping around or stealing, but that's really just the tip of the iceberg. the rant your daughter spews out about how you invaded her privacy by listening in while she talked to Cindy about how she totally wants to get with Johnny, but she doesn't want to break up with Steve, sure, that's a valid claim on privacy, but really, that is the least of your family's problems.
eventually, your daughter will be caught being the filthy tramp she is... don't worry. sure she will be friendless, and you will regret not putting your foot down years ago when she used privacy as her loophole to a life of immaturity, but in the future your bigger problem will be larger than whatever lies you have to use to enable her behavior and keep the family vacation together.
because privacy isn't completely about immature behavior, or how embarrassed you are by someone else. because embarrassment is only half the problem.
yes, the odds are good she is going to have trouble finding a job when the potential new employer finds out she used her last job as a dating pool... and yes, that is embarrassing.
but it can be even worse.
as you show up to the therapy session your family needs to deal with the latest set of drama, there are cameras everywhere. and those cameras will recognize who you are.
you think i'm kidding, but i'm not. (for proof, check out the first link at the bottom)
security and surveillance system are doing much more than providing your daughter's coworkers with video of the drunken strip-tease she thought she was only doing with the man she just met at the company retreat and is totally in love with.
sure, also embarrassing, but again only half the problem.
because when the man she's totally in love with realizes she's crazy and dumps her like every other guy and you end up dragging her to therapy the systems there to protect you will then SELL YOU OUT...
and not to the local tabloid, because no one cares about her continued nonsense, she may think she's a rock star, but she's not.
no, you'll be sold out to a marketing firm, who then takes your data and logs it as a face that was showing up every Tuesday and Thursday at 3pm with your husband and daughter and going into Suite 245, which address records show as Dr. Crazypeople. they will then start to market to you and your family things that typically market to people with your kind of crazy needs.
with that, they relay this information to your health insurance company (even though you paid cash to keep your privacy)... who proceeds to raise your rates because they have proof of a family history of irrational behavior and mental illness.
when you get the letter and look at your spouse and wonder how two people that lead a completely boring life could get accused of such things, you will want to sue someone for the invasion of your privacy.
but you can't.
over time, your face is seen by more security cameras... when you stop by a car dealership to pick up a friend, or when you eat fast food, and all of that is logged. suddenly it could impact your credit report, and cause you to get mail about pre-planning funerals while you're still in your 50s.
and maybe - just maybe - you think you're someone who's avoided the problem. you think you're above it, you're not on Facebook, you don't really do email, and you shy away from those crazy interwebs.
it doesn't matter.
first, your daughter has undoubtedly already posted pictures of you online. from MySpace to Facebook to Instagram (owned by Facebook) and the old reliable Twitter, anything from her pic with you as she leaves to go to prom, and your relieved face in the pic she posted after her extensive stint in college. and maybe, it's not even her fault. pictures are probably online of you from a company event, a charity function, a softball league, or something as innocent as your local church.
that picture identifies you, then that face is matched to the security cameras and suddenly the machine has you.
and aside from the cameras, other random things like your information from the auto club or your purchase history with your credit card sold you out. in fact, a recent article (link below) from Wired magazine mentions that those who don't have a social presence online probably have a 'Shadow Profile', a profile for you with them so they can have a placeholder for you while they data mine your information.
PLUS - technology is in place to start taking pictures of you and guess at what you'll look like in the future, so the Shadow Profiles can match you in case you happen to drop out of site for a while. (to test that, there's a link below).
government? sure there is a valid concern from the conspiracy freaks about government abusing this power as well... but really, you need to decide if you want higher mortgage rates and being added to a no-fly list over your daughter's need for therapy.
those days are coming... in the last link i've posted below, an Italian speaker at a TED Talk goes over the same information i've mentioned here. he's got a VERY thick accent, and can be difficult to listen to at times, but he points out that the 2002 film Minority Report showed the lead character walking through a mall where all the nearby advertising was targeted at him. and the technology to make that happen is already well under development, and we have been more than happy to provide the needed data.
on some level, you should be angry at yourself for not setting your daughter straight because her problems are about to become yours. but really, we should all have a larger concern. i have the same first and last name as my father, and a confusion in records could cause ME to start getting marketing (and pricing, and limitations) meant for him. on some level, this has already happened... in my attempt to get smoking cessation medication, it was improperly processed as his at first, and rejected due to his age, even though the prescription was for me.
and even now i'm typing this, and i've told the planet that i have smoked a cigarette - soon the computers will log this information and i will forever be branded.
think about that, if you've ever used a credit card to buy cigarettes, that has been recorded, as was your face on the security cameras. they may not have been for you, but now the world knows - the machine knows.
and while many feel they've avoided these problems, led clean lives, no crazy kids, and don't use the internet except for company email... don't be fooled. every email system out there scans your email 'to improve system performance', and every cell phone logs your location - it has to, for your safety, by federal law.
so - many people will read this and think they can't control it and don't care what happens as long as their personal day to day life isn't impacted (basically, they are still only going to care if they get embarrassed). well, realize that people are buying this information, some of it is freely available and some is available to anyone willing to pay for it... so really, it's only a matter of time until you're embarrassed.
HOW DO WE SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?
we can't unless we become aware. this is going to happen, and unless your plan is to live alone on an island, this future is on some level unstoppable. you can forever live in your own private bliss by telling yourself that your daughter isn't the troubled person everyone else thinks she is, but that wouldn't have stopped the gossips from talking about her behavior before the internet, and it's not going to stop the machine from doing what it does now. personal privacy about personal issues will start to infect your life, and the simple will have the potential to spin into the complex.
current legislation worldwide effectively ignores the potential problem to consumers and each person's sanity, and most people are so completely unaware of the problem they don't know to start complaining.
we live in a society where most feel helpless against technology, and many do not question what's pushing them around. let's face it, when your daughter doesn't show up to a family brunch and claims she was too busy doing something else, you're not going to go through the trouble of looking through all the security cameras possible to find out she slept in at some random guy's place. you'd rather not be disappointed in her and deal with that... but the same does not apply to the machine. and like your daughter, the machine will start pushing you around.
and worse, millenials have less of an expectation of privacy, and the machine knows, it's logging as much as it can, and it knows that you won't have the guts to ask your kids if they use Instagram or Facebook, and see what they post... even though they've probably posted pictures of you.
so sure, the best advice i can give you is to lead a clean life, pay your bills, don't buy cigarettes in the seedy part of town... and yeah, probably set your daughter straight early in life. but really, we all need to be aware of what's going on around us.
if you don't believe this is already happening, go online and search for some random type of product. search for 'new pizza oven' or 'golf equipment'... then watch the ads on various websites you visit start to target you with italian food and golf resorts. this very basic web technology is the start, and the future will be decided by the machine as it tells you what you wanted, helps sell you more, and also limits you based on what it thinks is your past.
click here for information about facial recognition available today
the Wired article that mentions 'Shadow Profiles'
this website will formulate your future appearance
here's an article about Facebook using your phone to target you
click here to watch a video from a more informed person than i about this topic
Thursday, September 25, 2014
the loss of Panda
i sat for 20 minutes attempting to find the best title for this post... and there's not one.
recently, a woman i had been involved with in my past took her own life, and my thoughts are strong, but difficult to fully put into words.
of course, they center around 'why?'
she was young and beautiful and strong and well spoken. from a small farming town, she carried herself all the way to a master's degree at a top level university, and started her own private practice bringing therapy to those who had eating disorders and family issues.
we were together during the summer of 2005, the summer of the Blue Lagoon. my friend's grandfather had turned his ranch home in a wealthy community over to my friend to watch for the summer while he was away. my friend was required to get the pool painted, and was told that he and his friends could have the use of it all summer. so we did. and Amanda was there, with her smile and her Rolling Rock beer.
she had since moved to Louisville. she had a Maine Coon cat named Jack, and a Pomeranian dog named Reggie, and most importantly a man she loved and lived with.
we were still friends, we would bicker too much on Facebook, so we weren't linked there... really it was my sarcastic view of the world and her serious belief of my impact on too many. not that i have any impact on anyone really, just my attitude and the example it was of society i think. but we still talked via text or email and would see each other's posts on Instagram... mainly of our pets, she loved to see Max.
and recently i had been helping her send her resume out while she looked for jobs back here in St. Louis.
two nights ago, she changed her Facebook picture to one of Reggie supporting her St. Louis Cardinals... and a few hours later on Instagram i posted a picture of Max and Cat having a stare down, she 'liked it' just after i posted it.
then a few hours later she took her own life.
and now, we are back to 'why'... and to my knowledge there was no note, there was no explanation... and even if there was - no matter what could have been said, the 'why' is really never enough to justify it.
it seems that it's impossible for some people to be happy with what they have these days.
they act happy of course. we live in a world where the season finale about the Kardashians featured Kim marrying her soulmate Kanye, the love of her life, to live on forever in wealth and beauty and happiness....
wait, what? didn't she do that 3 seasons ago?
and so many follow suit... we all trudge on with our bullshit while we believe we are far from Kardashians, and we don't realize the impact we have on others, and how quickly we move on. and how we have become a society of disposable people.
we don't play by the 'rules' anymore. people aren't accountable... and then there are the few, the good natured few, those who dedicate their lives to helping those who can't handle the burden of 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'.
and eventually, they can't handle the burden themselves.
people corrupt themselves every day, they cheat, they lie, they try to have the right attitude and speak in Kardashian like extremes where everything is SO this and SO that... and the extremes impact others.
people feel like they are in a competition of love and attention, when in reality they are only competing with their own issues.
'well, you don't understand my life' and 'why do you care what i do?' is the general attitude. they don't realize that while people may not care, they still notice. they like to think they are getting away with things, but they aren't. they have terrible impact on their kids or family or friends, they treat others like shit and don't even realize it... then the friends are gone and kids are a mess and the parents just enable it and reinforce anything the kids say so they can feel that the kids love them no matter what. the kids then think their parent is their best friend, because they never have any conflict while each is on a self destructive crash course, and they can't figure out what their problems are...
...and she dealt with this every day.
there are some basics in life, they really are about being a good person, up front, honest, true,
AMANDA WAS ALL OF THOSE GOOD THINGS
and, she called it like it was... she was caring, and she knew how to handle people, without letting them live the lies, and without letting them fall to the pressures put on them by family or society.
she knew the truth would set them free.
if she were hear to read this, she would tell me i'm honest, but i'm just as much a part of the problem with my picky sexist views and lack of flexibility toward those who have genuine troubles. she would tell me that people who are caught up in alcoholism or a bad marriage or self esteem issues need help. she would tell me that men who cheat have narcissism issues, and women - oof, she would tell me that so many women are a mess, but that i needed to get them help because i just could never understand the pressure from fathers or worse, divorced parents, and on top of all of that how society beats down on women and is so much harder on them, and how strong a woman has to be to get around all that!
ok Panda, there, in my private eulogy, I said everything like I think you would have... not that i completely agree, but i secretly always did know your thoughts were valid.... on some level, ha.
well - that's it, i finally just came up with a title. most people in my world end up with a nickname of some kind (oddly, I haven't), and she loved animals so much. her favorite for a while were Pandas. she loved to watch the Panda-cam from the zoos around the world, especially the baby pandas. and in that, some of us started to call her Amanda-Panda.
she loved all the animals... one of my lifelong friends named Larry is a big, tall, out of shape, loud, obnoxious, animal. he has literally been shot in the head and lived to talk about it. imagine the guy who was a hockey goon all through high school and his short span in college, who now owned a business and spends every night drinking hard in a bar trying to figure out why he can't lose weight as he loudly bellows crass commentary at whatever factory secretary happens to stumble in. he's an animal.
she loved him... she once told me that of all my guy friends, Larry was her favorite. and i would ask why - he's loud and obnoxious and rude... and she would reply, "yeah, he's just a loud obnoxious teddy bear".
she could wrap him around her finger... and in turn, the goon was beside himself all day after he heard the news.
Panda wasn't perfect... the bad side of Amanda cost her a wonderful life, and us a great soul because the good side of Panda was one of the greatest people you could hope to know.
because Panda was genuine, she genuinely cared. you knew how she felt, you didn't catch her in lies, and she didn't do anything she would be embarrassed by. she fought past her insecurities and didn't do things people could gossip about, and you always knew where you stood, you always knew she would be there when she said she would - there was no chance that something would 'come up', or that she could let you down. when she cared about you, you knew it. and really, she cared about everyone.
she was so good it frustrated me at times. our differences didn't end our relationship years ago, that ended purely because i wasn't ready to let the relationship progress... but after in our friendship there were times where we disagreed on things so strongly i couldn't talk to her.
then, the night after i found out, i got a voicemail from a friend of ours.
"i know she felt very fondly of you, it just saddens me... she adored you, she would always talk about how much she loved you. i never conveyed that to you, but she did."
and, she's gone... and we are left with a world filling with people who find others disposable, and think that ease and comfort are relationship qualities... then bail when truth surfaces and life gets hard.
i guess she bailed too... following the trend i guess.
except, she's one that was worth keeping around, and we didn't know she needed help.
so people, from now on, be a Panda. stop competing, stop trying to live the way society does, don't live a life you have to hide, stop living in fear of other people's judgement. trust me, if you need drama in your life, there's enough drama in the truth if you rub it in each other's faces... and really, if your truth is so awesome that you can't find drama in it, you should probably grow up and be happy with it.
find your happiness.
if you are not strong enough- reach out to people, and if you are strong enough- be someone that others can reach out to... and ask, ask others how they are, and be a lifeline - even if it's just long enough to hand them off to someone else.
be a Panda.
stop hiding your life, someone will accept it. and stop hiding things from others so that others know you will accept them.
accept.
and don't let yourself be burdened by society and family and the bullshit of life. learn to let go, dragging up old drama for attention is only hurting you. everyone sees through the bullshit, even you, stop playing the game. we all need to stop playing the game... because some people are just giving up.
i've lost two friends to suicide in the last year - TWO - one was a businessman with a beautiful wife and home and two beautiful kids... and now i've lost Panda.
why?
find your happiness... and if you can't, find help.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/gethelp.aspx
http://zoo.sandiegozoo.org/cams/panda-cam
recently, a woman i had been involved with in my past took her own life, and my thoughts are strong, but difficult to fully put into words.
of course, they center around 'why?'
she was young and beautiful and strong and well spoken. from a small farming town, she carried herself all the way to a master's degree at a top level university, and started her own private practice bringing therapy to those who had eating disorders and family issues.
we were together during the summer of 2005, the summer of the Blue Lagoon. my friend's grandfather had turned his ranch home in a wealthy community over to my friend to watch for the summer while he was away. my friend was required to get the pool painted, and was told that he and his friends could have the use of it all summer. so we did. and Amanda was there, with her smile and her Rolling Rock beer.
we were still friends, we would bicker too much on Facebook, so we weren't linked there... really it was my sarcastic view of the world and her serious belief of my impact on too many. not that i have any impact on anyone really, just my attitude and the example it was of society i think. but we still talked via text or email and would see each other's posts on Instagram... mainly of our pets, she loved to see Max.
and recently i had been helping her send her resume out while she looked for jobs back here in St. Louis.
two nights ago, she changed her Facebook picture to one of Reggie supporting her St. Louis Cardinals... and a few hours later on Instagram i posted a picture of Max and Cat having a stare down, she 'liked it' just after i posted it.
then a few hours later she took her own life.
and now, we are back to 'why'... and to my knowledge there was no note, there was no explanation... and even if there was - no matter what could have been said, the 'why' is really never enough to justify it.
it seems that it's impossible for some people to be happy with what they have these days.
they act happy of course. we live in a world where the season finale about the Kardashians featured Kim marrying her soulmate Kanye, the love of her life, to live on forever in wealth and beauty and happiness....
wait, what? didn't she do that 3 seasons ago?
and so many follow suit... we all trudge on with our bullshit while we believe we are far from Kardashians, and we don't realize the impact we have on others, and how quickly we move on. and how we have become a society of disposable people.
we don't play by the 'rules' anymore. people aren't accountable... and then there are the few, the good natured few, those who dedicate their lives to helping those who can't handle the burden of 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians'.
and eventually, they can't handle the burden themselves.
people corrupt themselves every day, they cheat, they lie, they try to have the right attitude and speak in Kardashian like extremes where everything is SO this and SO that... and the extremes impact others.
people feel like they are in a competition of love and attention, when in reality they are only competing with their own issues.
'well, you don't understand my life' and 'why do you care what i do?' is the general attitude. they don't realize that while people may not care, they still notice. they like to think they are getting away with things, but they aren't. they have terrible impact on their kids or family or friends, they treat others like shit and don't even realize it... then the friends are gone and kids are a mess and the parents just enable it and reinforce anything the kids say so they can feel that the kids love them no matter what. the kids then think their parent is their best friend, because they never have any conflict while each is on a self destructive crash course, and they can't figure out what their problems are...
...and she dealt with this every day.
there are some basics in life, they really are about being a good person, up front, honest, true,
AMANDA WAS ALL OF THOSE GOOD THINGS
and, she called it like it was... she was caring, and she knew how to handle people, without letting them live the lies, and without letting them fall to the pressures put on them by family or society.
she knew the truth would set them free.
if she were hear to read this, she would tell me i'm honest, but i'm just as much a part of the problem with my picky sexist views and lack of flexibility toward those who have genuine troubles. she would tell me that people who are caught up in alcoholism or a bad marriage or self esteem issues need help. she would tell me that men who cheat have narcissism issues, and women - oof, she would tell me that so many women are a mess, but that i needed to get them help because i just could never understand the pressure from fathers or worse, divorced parents, and on top of all of that how society beats down on women and is so much harder on them, and how strong a woman has to be to get around all that!
ok Panda, there, in my private eulogy, I said everything like I think you would have... not that i completely agree, but i secretly always did know your thoughts were valid.... on some level, ha.
well - that's it, i finally just came up with a title. most people in my world end up with a nickname of some kind (oddly, I haven't), and she loved animals so much. her favorite for a while were Pandas. she loved to watch the Panda-cam from the zoos around the world, especially the baby pandas. and in that, some of us started to call her Amanda-Panda.
she loved all the animals... one of my lifelong friends named Larry is a big, tall, out of shape, loud, obnoxious, animal. he has literally been shot in the head and lived to talk about it. imagine the guy who was a hockey goon all through high school and his short span in college, who now owned a business and spends every night drinking hard in a bar trying to figure out why he can't lose weight as he loudly bellows crass commentary at whatever factory secretary happens to stumble in. he's an animal.
she loved him... she once told me that of all my guy friends, Larry was her favorite. and i would ask why - he's loud and obnoxious and rude... and she would reply, "yeah, he's just a loud obnoxious teddy bear".
she could wrap him around her finger... and in turn, the goon was beside himself all day after he heard the news.
Panda wasn't perfect... the bad side of Amanda cost her a wonderful life, and us a great soul because the good side of Panda was one of the greatest people you could hope to know.
because Panda was genuine, she genuinely cared. you knew how she felt, you didn't catch her in lies, and she didn't do anything she would be embarrassed by. she fought past her insecurities and didn't do things people could gossip about, and you always knew where you stood, you always knew she would be there when she said she would - there was no chance that something would 'come up', or that she could let you down. when she cared about you, you knew it. and really, she cared about everyone.she was so good it frustrated me at times. our differences didn't end our relationship years ago, that ended purely because i wasn't ready to let the relationship progress... but after in our friendship there were times where we disagreed on things so strongly i couldn't talk to her.
then, the night after i found out, i got a voicemail from a friend of ours.
"i know she felt very fondly of you, it just saddens me... she adored you, she would always talk about how much she loved you. i never conveyed that to you, but she did."
and, she's gone... and we are left with a world filling with people who find others disposable, and think that ease and comfort are relationship qualities... then bail when truth surfaces and life gets hard.
i guess she bailed too... following the trend i guess.
except, she's one that was worth keeping around, and we didn't know she needed help.
so people, from now on, be a Panda. stop competing, stop trying to live the way society does, don't live a life you have to hide, stop living in fear of other people's judgement. trust me, if you need drama in your life, there's enough drama in the truth if you rub it in each other's faces... and really, if your truth is so awesome that you can't find drama in it, you should probably grow up and be happy with it.
find your happiness.
if you are not strong enough- reach out to people, and if you are strong enough- be someone that others can reach out to... and ask, ask others how they are, and be a lifeline - even if it's just long enough to hand them off to someone else.
be a Panda.
stop hiding your life, someone will accept it. and stop hiding things from others so that others know you will accept them.
accept.
and don't let yourself be burdened by society and family and the bullshit of life. learn to let go, dragging up old drama for attention is only hurting you. everyone sees through the bullshit, even you, stop playing the game. we all need to stop playing the game... because some people are just giving up.
i've lost two friends to suicide in the last year - TWO - one was a businessman with a beautiful wife and home and two beautiful kids... and now i've lost Panda.
why?
find your happiness... and if you can't, find help.
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/gethelp.aspx
http://zoo.sandiegozoo.org/cams/panda-cam
Friday, June 6, 2014
our 10 thousand dead
70 years ago today 150,000 souls launched themselves from Great Britain to liberate Europe from tyranny.
So many Americans died in that invasion that the bodies had to be left behind, instead of bringing them home a cemetery was created there.
There are nearly 10,000 Americans buried there.
The vast majority of those who went into combat were children really, in their late teens and early 20's. Some of them parachuted into the darkness of night, others ran on to a beach facing machine gun fire.
Some were children. By today's standards they would still be in school. On that day, they were the men challenged to save the world.
As I start my day, I'm watching an interview with two of them, and when asked what was the most surprising part of the invasion one replied, "when a man is shot and facing death, you think they'll be strong, but when they know the end is coming most of them cry out for their mothers."
And they heard that, a lot.
A few years ago, when sitting around the dinner table with my veteran father and uncle, the older niece shot her mouth off about how some newspapers were printing the names of those killed in Iraq and Afghanistan on their front page. She commented about it, asking my father and uncle if the newspapers did that during their war.
My uncle just laughed, he didn't even look up from his meal. "why is that funny?", my niece asked. "It would have taken up the whole page" my dad finally replied.
Today my friends worry about important things, like making sure their toddler doesn't get scratched by a cat, if they can get their kids in the best schools, and on the best soccer teams, and have the best things. The kids were raised on Teletubbies and now have iPhones, the girls are anorexic, the boys grow fat playing video games, and most don't have to work because mom and dad want them to focus on their education... which ends up being more about what they learn from starlets and sports heroes.
Back then, the 19 year old 'men' who parachuted in with the 82nd Airborne fought for 33 days without relief. Today we worry about the kids getting too much homework and we complain about shortened summer breaks.
Our problems today aren't the mass genocide of jews and the crushing oppression of foreign armies across Europe while the Japanese run rampant across the East killing hundreds of thousands of Chinese. We have terrorists that we ignore while we run around paranoid about what others think of us in our SUVs as we head to our social gatherings.
We as a people have forgotten what's important in life, because some things are so easy that we assume they will always be there. We are so comfortable, we assume that we will never be invaded, our lives are great, we can now complain about important things like Common Core and kids caught sexting, and we are not scarred with the memory of our destroyed cities overrun by invaders.
We have forgotten what it is to be a people who know to do what's right, over what's comfortable.
The only soil kept by the Americans in Europe in World War 2 is the land needed to bury our dead, the rest was returned to those who lost it to tyranny.
There are only 8000 remaining D-Day veterans today, if you're lucky enough to meet one you need to thank him, because D-Day was as much about keeping Hitler from invading us as it was about pushing him back from what he had already taken.
And it cost thousands of American lives.
Try to teach your children the depth of their sacrifice. Attempt to stop them long enough as they run off to camp or to the pool or to submerge themselves into video games, so they can understand that 70 years ago today, the beaches of Normandy were literally red with the blood of Americans.
Some parents will want to save their children from the horrific thought of this day, they will make excuses in the hopes of sheltering their young minds from such a horrific part of history.
Those parents are not doing their children any favors.
We cannot forget the sacrifice made by that generation, and why they are the greatest generation. It's sad on some level that we have become a fat nation that chooses to treat the story of D-Day like an overlooked paragraph in a history book.
Do something.
Make your kids watch Saving Private Ryan, tell them without fanfare about the Americans that saved the world. Make sure they understand that EVERY household in the country contributed to the war with 20 MILLION people in uniform. Do something, anything, so that today they can understand the sacrifice made.
And maybe, you and them, will understand again what's important in life.
So many Americans died in that invasion that the bodies had to be left behind, instead of bringing them home a cemetery was created there.
There are nearly 10,000 Americans buried there.
The vast majority of those who went into combat were children really, in their late teens and early 20's. Some of them parachuted into the darkness of night, others ran on to a beach facing machine gun fire.
Some were children. By today's standards they would still be in school. On that day, they were the men challenged to save the world.
As I start my day, I'm watching an interview with two of them, and when asked what was the most surprising part of the invasion one replied, "when a man is shot and facing death, you think they'll be strong, but when they know the end is coming most of them cry out for their mothers."
And they heard that, a lot.
A few years ago, when sitting around the dinner table with my veteran father and uncle, the older niece shot her mouth off about how some newspapers were printing the names of those killed in Iraq and Afghanistan on their front page. She commented about it, asking my father and uncle if the newspapers did that during their war.
My uncle just laughed, he didn't even look up from his meal. "why is that funny?", my niece asked. "It would have taken up the whole page" my dad finally replied.
Today my friends worry about important things, like making sure their toddler doesn't get scratched by a cat, if they can get their kids in the best schools, and on the best soccer teams, and have the best things. The kids were raised on Teletubbies and now have iPhones, the girls are anorexic, the boys grow fat playing video games, and most don't have to work because mom and dad want them to focus on their education... which ends up being more about what they learn from starlets and sports heroes.
Back then, the 19 year old 'men' who parachuted in with the 82nd Airborne fought for 33 days without relief. Today we worry about the kids getting too much homework and we complain about shortened summer breaks.
Our problems today aren't the mass genocide of jews and the crushing oppression of foreign armies across Europe while the Japanese run rampant across the East killing hundreds of thousands of Chinese. We have terrorists that we ignore while we run around paranoid about what others think of us in our SUVs as we head to our social gatherings.
We as a people have forgotten what's important in life, because some things are so easy that we assume they will always be there. We are so comfortable, we assume that we will never be invaded, our lives are great, we can now complain about important things like Common Core and kids caught sexting, and we are not scarred with the memory of our destroyed cities overrun by invaders.
We have forgotten what it is to be a people who know to do what's right, over what's comfortable.
The only soil kept by the Americans in Europe in World War 2 is the land needed to bury our dead, the rest was returned to those who lost it to tyranny.
There are only 8000 remaining D-Day veterans today, if you're lucky enough to meet one you need to thank him, because D-Day was as much about keeping Hitler from invading us as it was about pushing him back from what he had already taken.
And it cost thousands of American lives.
Try to teach your children the depth of their sacrifice. Attempt to stop them long enough as they run off to camp or to the pool or to submerge themselves into video games, so they can understand that 70 years ago today, the beaches of Normandy were literally red with the blood of Americans.
Some parents will want to save their children from the horrific thought of this day, they will make excuses in the hopes of sheltering their young minds from such a horrific part of history.
Those parents are not doing their children any favors.
We cannot forget the sacrifice made by that generation, and why they are the greatest generation. It's sad on some level that we have become a fat nation that chooses to treat the story of D-Day like an overlooked paragraph in a history book.
Do something.
Make your kids watch Saving Private Ryan, tell them without fanfare about the Americans that saved the world. Make sure they understand that EVERY household in the country contributed to the war with 20 MILLION people in uniform. Do something, anything, so that today they can understand the sacrifice made.
And maybe, you and them, will understand again what's important in life.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
GUN FACTS - know the details before you shoot (your mouth off)
I'm going to attempt to write this with as little skew or spin in the direction of my beliefs... mainly because I want people to make their own decisions, but I want them to do so with the right information.
why? because we as a people have stopped making decisions based on facts, and now are more likely to do so based on feeling. feelings are great, but don't make me cough up a few obvious reasons why life will always be hard and often decisions on how things should happen are as well.
FACT: guns are used to kill more Americans than any other weapon
it's true, the FBI catalogs the killings in our country, and firearms account for 67.5% of them. this shouldn't be difficult to accept, any number of different types of firearms are available in various sizes and types, from large shotguns that shoot huge slugs to little tiny handguns smaller than your hand that shoot bullets smaller than a 1/4 inch in size.
the data on what kills Americans can be found here:
http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/tables/10shrtbl07.xls
FACT: of all those killed in the Unites States, better than half are killed by HANDGUNS
this should also not be surprising, if you can get a cheap 'Saturday Night Special' or a 'Derringer' style handgun that can easily fit in almost anyone's pocket, it shouldn't be surprising that people roaming around with them are killing each other. for good reasons (self defense) or bad (robbery or crimes of passion), these are easily carried and easily used by Americans to kill each other.
the data on what types of firearms are used by Americans to kill each other are found here:
http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/tables/10shrtbl08.xls
FACT: an AUTOMATIC gun is just that, AUTOMATIC.
that means that when you fire it, then it reloads and keeps firing until you stop firing it. an automatic weapon is very closely related to a machine gun... but generally it's not a machine gun. a machine gun is generally considered to be large (usually not something a human would carry and shoot with accuracy). however, a machine gun is defined as an automatic weapon:
the above definition is important. you can tie a string around the trigger of an automatic weapon and leave, and it will keep on firing as long as bullets are being fed into it. most people who are familiar with firearms consider an automatic weapon to be a 'machine gun' when it is belt-fed, or fed by some seemingly endless amount of bullets.
FACT: assault weapons can be, but are usually NOT automatic
and with that, most people educated on the topic of firearms don't consider an assault rifle to be a machine gun.
FACT: most firearms have some kind of magazine.
here we get a little dicey with definitions, because those who truly understand firearms would probably be offended if i considered the drum of a revolver to be a magazine. but in the end, the weapon has a storage capacity of bullets that it fires before it needs to be replenished. shotguns normally keep their shells in a tube under the barrel (normally around 5-8 shells), revolvers have a drum of bullets (normally 6-8 but can be as high as 10 bullets), and rifles usually have magazines (which can range from 5-30 bullets in normal capacity).
FACT: firearms vary in CALIBER, which is the size of the projectile being fired from it.
the range is significant, i'm not even going to bother to state the complete range because someone who knows more than i do will correct me. what's important here is that everyone should realize that sometimes large guns fire small bullets, and sometimes small guns fire large bullets. no matter what the gun looks like, and no matter how long the barrel is, and no matter how large the magazine is, in the end it has a caliber which defines the size, and to a certain extent the power, of what's coming out of it.
FACT: firearms of different types will often use the same caliber
this is important. you can and will find pistols that fire what most people would consider a rifle round. and you will find rifles that shoot small pistols rounds... and you can even find tiny pistols that shoot shotgun rounds. my point here: the size of the gun and what it looks like doesn't define it's lethality, it could be shooting anything. and the point of this is simple: if you applied every restriction ever places on firearms in the United States on a firearm, you could still buy a rifle that's just as powerful as what the military shoots every day... and it could be in a big wood rifle, or a little pistol. the impact would be identical.
FACT: firearms are by nature made to send a projectile at a target
some people like to make it seem like there's only one purpose to a gun, and that's to kill.... which isn't completely true. there are firearms that are for nailing things to walls, firearms that are made for competitive target shooting, and even firearms made to throw ropes... but let's face it, by far the most commonly thought of use for a firearm is to send a projectile at or in or through something... and many would argue that's done to be lethal. however, as a country, we go through a lot more bullets than we have murders - so we are all terrible shots, or lethality against humans is not the most common use.
at the same time, knives are made to cut, bats are made to... pound baseballs, and so on. but, some could argue that the primary use of a knife is to cut food, and the primary use of a bat is for kids to play softball... where the primary use of a firearm is to kill.
FACT: the 3 most commonly fired caliber in assault rifles are also very commonly found in hunting rifles.
when i say 3 calibers i mean, .308, .223, and 7.62x39. the last of which is the caliber of the AK-47, and some would disagree that it's commonly found in a hunting equipment, and my only response is the Mini30, which is a rifle found on a lot of farms. anyway, this shouldn't be surprising, if a caliber is good for hunting people, why wouldn't it be good for hunting food?
FACT: a firearm cannot fire itself.
i shouldn't have to explain this, but it's a valid point that has to be made. a fork can't make you fat, you have to use it too much... and gun can't kill others, someone has to pick it up and use it.
NOW THAT WE HAVE THAT ALL CLEARED UP...
here's my issue.
we as a people go round and round about guns. everyone has an opinion - and everyone should have the right to their own opinion.
i'm going even go as far as to say that if a majority of people would like to start making dramatic changes to firearms legislation, then they should hold a vote, and if it passes, it should be enacted.
BUT
before anyone is allowed to make a decision, everyone needs to be informed and really understand all the facts i've stated above.
i recently got into a discussion online about banning all assault rifles... and it bothered me how uninformed people were.
in 1994 a law was passed that banned any rifle from having more than 2 of 7 characteristics that made it an 'assault rifle'. this included a bayonet lug and a pistol grip... the bayonet lug has absolutely no impact on the rifle's ability to shoot, nor does the pistol grip. so we spent millions of dollars and untold amounts of time on banning aesthetics.
worse, the law did nothing to ban weapons of the exact same caliber as the two most commonly found assault rifles in existence, the AR type and the AK type. while i won't go into the history of the two rifles, both are civilian variants of what most of the world's military forces carry. so we banned guns that look like them.
we did nothing to ban guns that shoot the exact same bullet but don't look like them. and we didn't touch anything that uses the most commonly found caliber in sniper rifles, because most of those don't look mean or have bayonets.
some would argue that one of the 7 characteristics was the magazine, saying that the gun couldn't have the bayonet lug if the magazine carried more than 5 bullets... but who cares about a bayonet lug?? you could drop the bayonet lug, and put a fixed thumbhole stock on it and have a 200 round magazine.
so... then what? we need to do away with large capacity magazines, right?
well, first, there are literally millions of them out there so even if you could ban them, you'd never collect them all - plus, there's a NATO standard that makes one caliber of magazines standard for use on many types of rifles... so you'd be impacting assault rifles and common hunting rifles.
some would say that a hunter shouldn't need more than 5 bullets... and maybe that's the case, but you'll still never collect them all, you'd be wasting your time writing that law.
and WAIT - before we go on and on about assault rifles.... we forgot something!
better than HALF of the murders that happen in the United States are committed with HANDGUNS. less than 3% of murders were committed with rifles, and assault weapons are a small percentage of rifles... so banning assault weapons would... have impacted an unmeasurably tiny amount of the crimes committed in this country.
and then we get to the "well, we have to start somewhere" argument. this just infuriates me. this is like someone who wants to lose weight thinking they are putting a solid effort into it by spending all kinds of time and effort into making sure they only eat the candy with the least amount of impact... but still doing little to no change to their diet and exercise otherwise.
and almost zero legislation has impacted shotguns - because people think those are for hunting. yes, they are... and they are used for hunting because they fire many bullets at once across a wide pattern. SO - a double barrel shotgun with NO magazine that only holds two shells could fire more than a dozen projectiles at once across a wide space.
yes, this makes a shotgun deadlier than an 'assault weapon', with or without the bayonet lug.
in fact, shotguns account for more killings than rifles... but the only restrictions currently placed on them have to do with the lengths of their barrels and stocks (they can have bayonet lugs and any size magazine).
recently, a California politician held a press conference where he introduced us to what he called the 'Ghost Gun'. he ranted on about how many bullets it could hold and fire, and how it was a killing machine. and, he was completely misinformed.
what he did was get people all excited that he was going to make a difference by spouting off lies. in truth, if the gun he held could actually do what he said it could... then it would melt from the heat it was putting off.
if you think firearms are a problem in our society today, then by all means - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. but please, be informed.
realize that you just make an ass of yourself when you spout off what you think are facts when they are simply untrue... and you look like a jackass when you ignore the thousands who are murdered with cheap straw purchased weapons and point the finger at the tiny percentage of guns which are expensive to buy and most commonly tracked.
and accept this one undeniable FACT: if anything, gun violence has proven that no amount of legislation will keep you completely safe, from crazies and criminals, and anyone with the number 2 weapon used for killing in the United States, knives (used to kill more than 10% of those murdered, and have zero control legislation).
why? because we as a people have stopped making decisions based on facts, and now are more likely to do so based on feeling. feelings are great, but don't make me cough up a few obvious reasons why life will always be hard and often decisions on how things should happen are as well.
FACT: guns are used to kill more Americans than any other weapon
it's true, the FBI catalogs the killings in our country, and firearms account for 67.5% of them. this shouldn't be difficult to accept, any number of different types of firearms are available in various sizes and types, from large shotguns that shoot huge slugs to little tiny handguns smaller than your hand that shoot bullets smaller than a 1/4 inch in size.
the data on what kills Americans can be found here:
http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/tables/10shrtbl07.xls
FACT: of all those killed in the Unites States, better than half are killed by HANDGUNS
this should also not be surprising, if you can get a cheap 'Saturday Night Special' or a 'Derringer' style handgun that can easily fit in almost anyone's pocket, it shouldn't be surprising that people roaming around with them are killing each other. for good reasons (self defense) or bad (robbery or crimes of passion), these are easily carried and easily used by Americans to kill each other.
the data on what types of firearms are used by Americans to kill each other are found here:
http://www.fbi.gov/about-us/cjis/ucr/crime-in-the-u.s/2010/crime-in-the-u.s.-2010/tables/10shrtbl08.xls
FACT: an AUTOMATIC gun is just that, AUTOMATIC.
that means that when you fire it, then it reloads and keeps firing until you stop firing it. an automatic weapon is very closely related to a machine gun... but generally it's not a machine gun. a machine gun is generally considered to be large (usually not something a human would carry and shoot with accuracy). however, a machine gun is defined as an automatic weapon:
ma·chine gun
noun
- 1.an automatic gun that fires bullets in rapid succession for as long as the trigger is pressed.
the above definition is important. you can tie a string around the trigger of an automatic weapon and leave, and it will keep on firing as long as bullets are being fed into it. most people who are familiar with firearms consider an automatic weapon to be a 'machine gun' when it is belt-fed, or fed by some seemingly endless amount of bullets.
FACT: assault weapons can be, but are usually NOT automatic
and with that, most people educated on the topic of firearms don't consider an assault rifle to be a machine gun.
FACT: most firearms have some kind of magazine.
here we get a little dicey with definitions, because those who truly understand firearms would probably be offended if i considered the drum of a revolver to be a magazine. but in the end, the weapon has a storage capacity of bullets that it fires before it needs to be replenished. shotguns normally keep their shells in a tube under the barrel (normally around 5-8 shells), revolvers have a drum of bullets (normally 6-8 but can be as high as 10 bullets), and rifles usually have magazines (which can range from 5-30 bullets in normal capacity).
FACT: firearms vary in CALIBER, which is the size of the projectile being fired from it.
the range is significant, i'm not even going to bother to state the complete range because someone who knows more than i do will correct me. what's important here is that everyone should realize that sometimes large guns fire small bullets, and sometimes small guns fire large bullets. no matter what the gun looks like, and no matter how long the barrel is, and no matter how large the magazine is, in the end it has a caliber which defines the size, and to a certain extent the power, of what's coming out of it.
FACT: firearms of different types will often use the same caliber
this is important. you can and will find pistols that fire what most people would consider a rifle round. and you will find rifles that shoot small pistols rounds... and you can even find tiny pistols that shoot shotgun rounds. my point here: the size of the gun and what it looks like doesn't define it's lethality, it could be shooting anything. and the point of this is simple: if you applied every restriction ever places on firearms in the United States on a firearm, you could still buy a rifle that's just as powerful as what the military shoots every day... and it could be in a big wood rifle, or a little pistol. the impact would be identical.
FACT: firearms are by nature made to send a projectile at a target
some people like to make it seem like there's only one purpose to a gun, and that's to kill.... which isn't completely true. there are firearms that are for nailing things to walls, firearms that are made for competitive target shooting, and even firearms made to throw ropes... but let's face it, by far the most commonly thought of use for a firearm is to send a projectile at or in or through something... and many would argue that's done to be lethal. however, as a country, we go through a lot more bullets than we have murders - so we are all terrible shots, or lethality against humans is not the most common use.
at the same time, knives are made to cut, bats are made to... pound baseballs, and so on. but, some could argue that the primary use of a knife is to cut food, and the primary use of a bat is for kids to play softball... where the primary use of a firearm is to kill.
FACT: the 3 most commonly fired caliber in assault rifles are also very commonly found in hunting rifles.
when i say 3 calibers i mean, .308, .223, and 7.62x39. the last of which is the caliber of the AK-47, and some would disagree that it's commonly found in a hunting equipment, and my only response is the Mini30, which is a rifle found on a lot of farms. anyway, this shouldn't be surprising, if a caliber is good for hunting people, why wouldn't it be good for hunting food?
FACT: a firearm cannot fire itself.
i shouldn't have to explain this, but it's a valid point that has to be made. a fork can't make you fat, you have to use it too much... and gun can't kill others, someone has to pick it up and use it.
NOW THAT WE HAVE THAT ALL CLEARED UP...
here's my issue.
we as a people go round and round about guns. everyone has an opinion - and everyone should have the right to their own opinion.
i'm going even go as far as to say that if a majority of people would like to start making dramatic changes to firearms legislation, then they should hold a vote, and if it passes, it should be enacted.
BUT
before anyone is allowed to make a decision, everyone needs to be informed and really understand all the facts i've stated above.
i recently got into a discussion online about banning all assault rifles... and it bothered me how uninformed people were.
in 1994 a law was passed that banned any rifle from having more than 2 of 7 characteristics that made it an 'assault rifle'. this included a bayonet lug and a pistol grip... the bayonet lug has absolutely no impact on the rifle's ability to shoot, nor does the pistol grip. so we spent millions of dollars and untold amounts of time on banning aesthetics.
worse, the law did nothing to ban weapons of the exact same caliber as the two most commonly found assault rifles in existence, the AR type and the AK type. while i won't go into the history of the two rifles, both are civilian variants of what most of the world's military forces carry. so we banned guns that look like them.
we did nothing to ban guns that shoot the exact same bullet but don't look like them. and we didn't touch anything that uses the most commonly found caliber in sniper rifles, because most of those don't look mean or have bayonets.
some would argue that one of the 7 characteristics was the magazine, saying that the gun couldn't have the bayonet lug if the magazine carried more than 5 bullets... but who cares about a bayonet lug?? you could drop the bayonet lug, and put a fixed thumbhole stock on it and have a 200 round magazine.
so... then what? we need to do away with large capacity magazines, right?
well, first, there are literally millions of them out there so even if you could ban them, you'd never collect them all - plus, there's a NATO standard that makes one caliber of magazines standard for use on many types of rifles... so you'd be impacting assault rifles and common hunting rifles.
some would say that a hunter shouldn't need more than 5 bullets... and maybe that's the case, but you'll still never collect them all, you'd be wasting your time writing that law.
and WAIT - before we go on and on about assault rifles.... we forgot something!
better than HALF of the murders that happen in the United States are committed with HANDGUNS. less than 3% of murders were committed with rifles, and assault weapons are a small percentage of rifles... so banning assault weapons would... have impacted an unmeasurably tiny amount of the crimes committed in this country.
and then we get to the "well, we have to start somewhere" argument. this just infuriates me. this is like someone who wants to lose weight thinking they are putting a solid effort into it by spending all kinds of time and effort into making sure they only eat the candy with the least amount of impact... but still doing little to no change to their diet and exercise otherwise.
and almost zero legislation has impacted shotguns - because people think those are for hunting. yes, they are... and they are used for hunting because they fire many bullets at once across a wide pattern. SO - a double barrel shotgun with NO magazine that only holds two shells could fire more than a dozen projectiles at once across a wide space.
yes, this makes a shotgun deadlier than an 'assault weapon', with or without the bayonet lug.
in fact, shotguns account for more killings than rifles... but the only restrictions currently placed on them have to do with the lengths of their barrels and stocks (they can have bayonet lugs and any size magazine).
recently, a California politician held a press conference where he introduced us to what he called the 'Ghost Gun'. he ranted on about how many bullets it could hold and fire, and how it was a killing machine. and, he was completely misinformed.
what he did was get people all excited that he was going to make a difference by spouting off lies. in truth, if the gun he held could actually do what he said it could... then it would melt from the heat it was putting off.
if you think firearms are a problem in our society today, then by all means - DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. but please, be informed.
realize that you just make an ass of yourself when you spout off what you think are facts when they are simply untrue... and you look like a jackass when you ignore the thousands who are murdered with cheap straw purchased weapons and point the finger at the tiny percentage of guns which are expensive to buy and most commonly tracked.
and accept this one undeniable FACT: if anything, gun violence has proven that no amount of legislation will keep you completely safe, from crazies and criminals, and anyone with the number 2 weapon used for killing in the United States, knives (used to kill more than 10% of those murdered, and have zero control legislation).
Monday, September 9, 2013
ginger-man, super hero. he makes us look bad.
i knew a girl in high school who was quite a pistol, but hadn't seen her since my sophomore year, which was roughly around when i met Dan Duffy.
not for ourselves - for others. i can list out plenty of people who are always having their feelings hurt, people who are angry, people who cry because they don't get enough attention, people who do and say elaborate things so they can feel something better about themselves. Dan doesn't do that. Dan feels for others.
Dan is a man i've known for almost 30 years. i've traveled to some of the world's biggest shitholes with Dan, we have partied and prayed together. from a family of red-heads, i'm the outcast brown-headed stepchild his mother relentlessly loves on as if i am one of her own.
i know Dan well enough to tell you that his exuberance can be painful - everything is the BEST, he is so sweet when talking about his wife and kids that i feel the onslaught of diabetes, and his dedication to everything happy makes me want to regularly file a complaint for the repeal of his man-card. he is the definition of disgustingly positive... and in my sarcastic mind it often causes me to roll my eyes.
i know Dan well enough to tell you that his exuberance can be painful - everything is the BEST, he is so sweet when talking about his wife and kids that i feel the onslaught of diabetes, and his dedication to everything happy makes me want to regularly file a complaint for the repeal of his man-card. he is the definition of disgustingly positive... and in my sarcastic mind it often causes me to roll my eyes.
he was born in Ireland, moved to St. Louis, and grew up here. i met him at JFK on our way to Europe on a tour. from there our friendship continued even though we went to different schools and followed different paths. his was more straight and narrow, mine was a little more wild. i chose to make school a career, he wanted a career and for that he went to school. Vancouver Film School actually, where he did very well, and his insistence on having my personality in his films is effectively what caused my acting career.
now living back in St. Louis, he is a successful film producer. he is married to a beautiful red-headed woman (who i introduced him to), and they have two red-headed kids.
in fact, let me stop for a moment and mention to his wife: Stephanie, at some point in the future, if you come down to start your day, and your find your boys looking out the back window to see me asleep and floating on a raft in your pool wearing only the tequila bottle that rests over my crotch... remain calm. as you make your way around what appears to be a stolen car, and step over the college girls sleeping in a mix of delusion & whipped cream, take a deep breath. so that just before you unload on me for what may possibly be construed as irresponsible behavior, you remember, that YOU OWE ME, because i'm the reason you met that guy... and, your mother-in-law loves me... and you think my mom is a saint (who you wouldn't want to see cry)... and maybe - just maybe, everyone would be better off with waffles instead of violence.
anyway, when Dan's not making films, editing copy, or meeting with clients he runs a charity he created about cancer survivorship called The Half Fund.
Dan survived cancer, and being the positive soul he is, in the wake of his battle he created an outlet for others to express the joy of success against cancer in a world where most of us only see the negative.
he is always trying to see and be the positive.
yesterday that woman i knew in high school passed away, six years ago she was a nurse and wife and mother to a one year old girl, and she found out she had breast cancer. they gave her 2 years, but she decided that wouldn't be enough. she insisted that she had to last long enough for her daughter to remember her.
and i'm not going to use her name as most of you won't know her, and i don't want to give others who may notice her name a reason to inquire and harass those close to her, when they need to heal.
but she beat breast cancer... then she beat cancer again... then she beat brain cancer, then bone, then something in her spine, then something behind her eye... she was a warrior.
recently, during a routine scan to make sure nothing had come back, something had.
her daughter was now 7.
i was 'friends' with this woman on Facebook, but like many of the 'friends' we keep online... we never talked to or speak of, barely noticed each other, and just kept the union to answer the wonder about where those from our past had landed in life. she still kept a circle of girlfriends which i had known from years ago as well. and when news of the return of cancer got to me i asked one of them what had happened. i was told that it was bad, and that this warrior had made it far enough to be locked in her daughters memory, but wouldn't have long before she was gone.
her friends, angels really, all rallied around her. they each were taking turns staying with her at night, helping around the house, and most importantly to her, they were helping her write letters for her daughter to receive in the future.
imagine that - imagine being a parent and knowing you would not be there for your child at it's key moments, imagine not being able to cheer your child on, imagine knowing your child would feel you missing.
imagine that - imagine being a parent and knowing you would not be there for your child at it's key moments, imagine not being able to cheer your child on, imagine knowing your child would feel you missing.
enter Dan Duffy.
not willing to let cancer win all it could, Dan stepped in. he didn't even know this woman.
Dan Duffy loaded up his professional equipment, made his way to this woman's home, greeted her with his goofy smile, and used his tools and his talent to give this woman the chance to talk to her daughter at the key points in the future that she will miss.
her body and appearance changed from the dramatic impact of the disease, she decided she did not want to be on camera, so he pointed it at the wall, set up the boom mic, then sat on the couch next to her, and listened to every word she said... and when she would get lost in her thoughts, he would talk to her and ask her about things she would want to tell her daughter.
Dan helped this woman record the notes she had written to her daughter, so her daughter would hear her mother tell her (from her) how great she is on her 16th birthday.
Dan is the reason this little girl will some day get to hear the story of her own birth, and who her mother was, from her mother.
Dan is the reason her daughter will hear her mother tell her how beautiful she is on her wedding day.
Dan is the reason that her daughter will hear words from her mother when she has her own babies.
Dan is the reason that for the rest of time, her daughter will always be able to look pictures of the two of them and hear her mother tell her how much she is loved.
how do i know this? i was there, i saw it happen. i saw Dan carry in his equipment, and work around her needs. i was hiding in a stairwell, but i saw Dan cry with this woman and her friends, i saw Dan put in the effort, and i heard Dan leave talking about how this woman was a champion.
it was Dan who after editing the video so the backdrop would show a slideshow of mother and daughter together told me, "thank God i'm alone in an office with blinds i can close and a locked door, because I've sobbed more in the last week while editing this for her, than i have in the last 10 years" - and he meant it - Dan felt FOR her.
if you're reading this, you may know me. you're here at my blog... you may have seen my Facebook Page or found this via my Twitter Account... I'm no Dan Duffy. but when i see him in action, i am inspired to be.
YOU should be to.
how do i know this? i was there, i saw it happen. i saw Dan carry in his equipment, and work around her needs. i was hiding in a stairwell, but i saw Dan cry with this woman and her friends, i saw Dan put in the effort, and i heard Dan leave talking about how this woman was a champion.
it was Dan who after editing the video so the backdrop would show a slideshow of mother and daughter together told me, "thank God i'm alone in an office with blinds i can close and a locked door, because I've sobbed more in the last week while editing this for her, than i have in the last 10 years" - and he meant it - Dan felt FOR her.
if you're reading this, you may know me. you're here at my blog... you may have seen my Facebook Page or found this via my Twitter Account... I'm no Dan Duffy. but when i see him in action, i am inspired to be.
YOU should be to.
while the rest of us roam the planet with a protective layer of apathy shielding us from the unpleasantness of life, Dan Duffy has proven that even when facing great sadness, something can be done to make the world a better place. maybe it can't be made perfect again, but something can be done to make it a little better. he has proven we just need to do what we can. we just need to give where we feel.
we just need to feel, fearlessly.
we just need to feel, fearlessly.
not for ourselves - for others. i can list out plenty of people who are always having their feelings hurt, people who are angry, people who cry because they don't get enough attention, people who do and say elaborate things so they can feel something better about themselves. Dan doesn't do that. Dan feels for others.
he's not perfect. he's that guy who's ok with his kids playing on baseball teams where they don't keep score... i want to kick him in his nut for stuff like that. i can say that, he's like a brother to me.
but in the big picture he's what the world needs more of. people who are willing to DO when they can, and then actually DO. not talk, not cut a check, not have meetings about what others will do, actually DO.
Dan did. he did it with little lead time. he did it fast because things like this won't wait for us to get make space on a schedule. he did it because it had to be done, for someone else.
Dan did. he did it with little lead time. he did it fast because things like this won't wait for us to get make space on a schedule. he did it because it had to be done, for someone else.
ASK YOURSELF if you would - or even could - be this person. you tell the world what kind of person you are with how you handle others, how you handle your schedule, how you DO and impact lives. i know people who avoid friends when they have sadness, people who have used 'prior commitments' to skip out on funerals, people who expect their siblings to deal with their parents in failing health because they claim they can't afford the time or money... but they really just don't want to.
because it's hard, and it's painful.
and while we all know these people, there's some of that inside each of us, so we gossip about their shortcomings and look down on them privately, but we let it go because a lot of us are inches from doing the same.
Dan Duffy did the opposite... and really, he didn't do it for his aged parent, or sick lifelong friend, he did it for a stranger. yes, her cause was something he has a deep interest in, as a cancer survivor and parent, he could empathize, and he doesn't do this daily. this is not the only thing i've known Dan to do, Dan has gone overseas to help charities and helped in national campaigns, but the little things count, and for some people have a greater impact. he may never do this again, but let's face it, he will do something of this caliber again, and again.
and he will do it and expect ZERO recognition. he may tell his wife what he did with his day, he may blog about it if only to tell someone else's story... he may even vent a little to someone to get out from under the stress the moment brings - but nothing more.
would you?
the women who rallied around their friend for the last six years are angels. certifiably, broad-winged, halo wearing angels. the night before she left us, one of them sent me a text update about her and joked about "dying is hard work!" but they didn't care, they wanted to do it, they wanted to be there for her.
we would all be lost without our friends, and this group of friends should know how great they are. they are the definition of friend, they aren't 'friends' like we have on Facebook, they are not the 'friends' we only see at parties, they are the real friends, the ones who we hope we never have to rely on - but we can... from helping her take last trips with her daughter, to changing bedpans, these women are better than most of us - and Dan would be upset if i didn't point that out.
we would all be lost without our friends, and this group of friends should know how great they are. they are the definition of friend, they aren't 'friends' like we have on Facebook, they are not the 'friends' we only see at parties, they are the real friends, the ones who we hope we never have to rely on - but we can... from helping her take last trips with her daughter, to changing bedpans, these women are better than most of us - and Dan would be upset if i didn't point that out.
it takes a lot to give up your time and carry your lifelong friend through sickness, and the love these women carry in their hearts should not go unnoticed, they should be lauded, cheered, carried on our shoulders... but they want none of that. that's what really makes them all great, they do it, they don't complain, and they don't want anyone to notice.
Dan will be the first one to point out that he gave just hours to help a woman do something for her daughter - where these women gave their time for years.
and they did.
but i think it's important that we also recognize the man who didn't know her, and just wanted to make the world a better place, and did something that will last forever and impact a life.
unless she reads this, Marie Duffy may never know her son did this. for him, this is just what he did one day.
he blogged about it, only to celebrate how great this woman was - and if you ask him about his efforts, he will probably blow it off and tell you about the friends, who were there for their friend for years and how they were angels.
he blogged about it, only to celebrate how great this woman was - and if you ask him about his efforts, he will probably blow it off and tell you about the friends, who were there for their friend for years and how they were angels.
i know Dan Duffy, and trust me, he's no angel. but Dan Duffy is an epic hero.
Tell Dan your thoughts - Click Here
Thursday, September 5, 2013
privacy - you already don't have any
i get a lot of comments about my use of social media... more often than not it's just comments, but sometimes (when it involves others) it questions privacy.
an example would be: i go out for the evening, and the people i'm with all group together for a photo, then i post this picture online to Twitter or Facebook or something like that... then someone else may ask, "are you sure those other people want the world knowing they were there?"
on some level, it's a fair question. but my first thought is simply that a person should be leading a life where their location and activities shouldn't matter. being caught out with your buddies and their girlfriends at a bar when your wife thinks you're at the office... or if your coworkers see the same pictures and realize how big a jackass you are... meh... these are problems of your dishonesty on some level, and if you're life is really clean, this is really more paranoia.
at the same time, i know people who have real problems, violent ex-relationships, estranged family members who harass them, or entertainers who's fan base is at times pushy. while a lot of us would like to think we have to be concerned so we can avoid someone judging our new outfit or being caught with the wrong woman - these people have real privacy issues.
ok, so as you think about it - you're not a Hollywood starlet, you don't cheat on your spouse, you don't act the fool, you shouldn't care what people think of your new outfit... so where's the problem?
the problem is in the machine. not Facebook, not Twitter, not Instagram. the problem is not with your babysitter who posts pictures of your child, the problem is not your buddy who shares his location online. these people could stop what they are doing and you are still being tracked.
sure, your babysitter or your buddy can hold some of the blame. social media harvests data in epic ways, and that data is not held just in their systems as they would like you to believe. data mines are sold and shared regularly to other businesses, and they don't care (click here to read Google's opinion on your privacy) - there are NO REGULATIONS on this in the United States... there are however laws that limit the government's use of this information. however, it still happens, as shown in this article from Wired.
but it's much more than that - so much more that really, social media is far from the reason your life is no longer private. social media catches the heat because that's where people draw most of their online drama. but really, having someone know you got a new girlfriend and she's your buddy's ex is not real problems. real problem will happen later when your credit score is impacted or you are unable to use your email because of all the spam you receive after you visited a car dealership to get an oil change and the machine made some assumptions.
after 9/11 the federal government mandated that all cell phones sold in the United States have GPS systems in them. from that, geo-location services were created. the tech inclined started to use the GPS to create 'geoloc' services and systems so people could share their location 24/7 with friends for fun or for safety.
geoloc systems are great and they are completely safe for the average user. i have friends who's devices are constantly telling me where they are - you can't see that information, but i can, because they have granted me that permission. with that, my nieces are also showing up on my maps, because they are teenage girls being raised by a working single mother, and someone should always know where they are. and, i have a handful of clients who share their location with one person - me - by their own choice, they realized that someone should know where they are at all times (while not wanting that information shared with someone who would regularly look and question their activities). somewhere in all this is the balance between sharing, and privacy.
but - modern corporations are also using this information to track you. Microsoft, Apple, Google, Amazon, and many more - they create the software on your phone, then they store that information and use it to market to you... and more.
in the 2002 movie 'Minority Report', Tom Cruise runs through a city where advertisements are changing for each user who walks by - and in 2013, Intel Corporation is already marketing systems to do just that. in fact, one of my fellow consultants was asked to join a team of corporate innovators who wanted to do that same thing.
and in all this you think - "I'm not one of those people, I live simple, I'm not online, I don't do the Facebook and the Tweeter and the posting pictures online".
actually, you do.
one of my clients and his wife avoid social media in general, and while he likes tech-toys, he doesn't use social media and she barely uses a cell phone which is turned off and shelved the instant she gets home from work. they are safe, right? wrong. her children post pictures of her on Facebook, her work has an email system, his nephews post pictures while visiting their vacation home, and they both shop online.
these are good people, they spend most of their free time at home or golfing, and periodically travel. they aren't living in the limelight, they aren't being followed by paparazzi or ex-relationships, and they are almost always together when not at work - so why the concern? and who cares if the marketing machines customize ads for them?
it's not about the ads - it's about the information.
information catalogs are being harvested online constantly - it is possible for someone to look up information on you on a level that would shock you. you may think you're not online, but you are - your company photo posted to the company website is probably linked to your name. your name was used when your friend emailed you from her Yahoo! account. she has emailed you many times, and in those emails are plans to go to certain places and may mention other people who you are now linked to. those people shop online... and the chain goes on and on.
if you think this isn't happening, check out this map from the MIT Immersion project, which (with permission) will show you how email services like my Google system can analyze email:
email systems like Gmail, Yahoo! email, Apple's iCloud, or Microsoft's Exchange system are used to connect you and your information to others. shown above is a map of everyone who emails me, how often, and how they were connected to me and others. it's not a perfect science, as i look at it i see people who aren't connected that should be, and those same people are connected to those who they have no relation to... and why? because something held them together electronically. people who email me rarely, or were part of replies are still noticed, and so is that content.
if you're someone who emails me and you see your name above, you'll probably notice that for most of you there are lines and color coding that shows which circle of friends you're part of, the computer uses this analysis to define how we met, how often you contact me, and who else you're associated with.
don't believe me? feel free to try it yourself - https://immersion.media.mit.edu/
somewhere behind all this, is also the analysis of what you buy, where you go, and what you do with your time. and don't think living off the grid and only using cash solves this problem unless you plan to never leave home - the computers are biometrically tracking you as well.
think it impossible? feel free to watch this report from 60 Minutes about the use of facial recognition software and data mining in the United States today:
as shown in the report, students have managed to modify a toy that flies around and identifies people by their face. this information can be linked to the information found online and your history continues.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
almost nothing.
you can have some common courtesy and understand what is going on. for example: my map above doesn't include any complete names, and is an image of circles, so i'm not violating anyone's privacy here. odds are no one knows who 'Gavin' or 'KC' are, and if you do you have no reason to care that they emailed me or how much. i try to consider these things when i post things publicly online.
with common courtesy to others, should also be some understanding that others may not get it. if your friend has your kids at a pizza place and takes a picture of all of them playing together and later posts it online tagging you in it so you'll notice, they may think they are sharing a fun picture, and may not consider the possible ramifications.
and really, most of us should be living lives where none of this matters. the younger generations today are already of the understanding that there is no longer any privacy, and the few who haven't learned it yet are regularly embarrassing themselves on social media. my only concern from this is that we may be raising a generation of people who lead clean lives or become experts in lies and deception. so if you're a parent, second guess your kids regularly, and watch their online posts.
in the end, the general consensus amongst those in 'the know' is that our privacy is over. you may be able to ask others not to share information about you, and some will listen, but that won't stop your computer at work or the security cameras at the mall, and probably won't stop your kids who don't think for a minute that it will matter if they post a picture of dad online.
it is my opinion that the best of us will try to understand it, and maybe embrace it a little. we all do already, we have the email, we have the cell phones, we aren't going to stop using them. the time has come for us all to grow some thicker skin, take a deep breath, and let go of any desire we have to hide - because it's going to be torn away from us no matter what.
most of the people in my world are good and honest people, and even some of those carry the burden of being judged in the past... in that, they want to keep their lives to themselves. it makes sense on some level, no one wants to be judged, and no one should be unsafe with their information. but most of these systems have controls in place. like the geolocation systems i mentioned at the beginning of this, most provide some level of security from others.
but do not forget that big brother is watching, and someone you know may be better friends with him than you are.
an example would be: i go out for the evening, and the people i'm with all group together for a photo, then i post this picture online to Twitter or Facebook or something like that... then someone else may ask, "are you sure those other people want the world knowing they were there?"
on some level, it's a fair question. but my first thought is simply that a person should be leading a life where their location and activities shouldn't matter. being caught out with your buddies and their girlfriends at a bar when your wife thinks you're at the office... or if your coworkers see the same pictures and realize how big a jackass you are... meh... these are problems of your dishonesty on some level, and if you're life is really clean, this is really more paranoia.
at the same time, i know people who have real problems, violent ex-relationships, estranged family members who harass them, or entertainers who's fan base is at times pushy. while a lot of us would like to think we have to be concerned so we can avoid someone judging our new outfit or being caught with the wrong woman - these people have real privacy issues.
ok, so as you think about it - you're not a Hollywood starlet, you don't cheat on your spouse, you don't act the fool, you shouldn't care what people think of your new outfit... so where's the problem?
the problem is in the machine. not Facebook, not Twitter, not Instagram. the problem is not with your babysitter who posts pictures of your child, the problem is not your buddy who shares his location online. these people could stop what they are doing and you are still being tracked.
sure, your babysitter or your buddy can hold some of the blame. social media harvests data in epic ways, and that data is not held just in their systems as they would like you to believe. data mines are sold and shared regularly to other businesses, and they don't care (click here to read Google's opinion on your privacy) - there are NO REGULATIONS on this in the United States... there are however laws that limit the government's use of this information. however, it still happens, as shown in this article from Wired.
but it's much more than that - so much more that really, social media is far from the reason your life is no longer private. social media catches the heat because that's where people draw most of their online drama. but really, having someone know you got a new girlfriend and she's your buddy's ex is not real problems. real problem will happen later when your credit score is impacted or you are unable to use your email because of all the spam you receive after you visited a car dealership to get an oil change and the machine made some assumptions.
after 9/11 the federal government mandated that all cell phones sold in the United States have GPS systems in them. from that, geo-location services were created. the tech inclined started to use the GPS to create 'geoloc' services and systems so people could share their location 24/7 with friends for fun or for safety.
geoloc systems are great and they are completely safe for the average user. i have friends who's devices are constantly telling me where they are - you can't see that information, but i can, because they have granted me that permission. with that, my nieces are also showing up on my maps, because they are teenage girls being raised by a working single mother, and someone should always know where they are. and, i have a handful of clients who share their location with one person - me - by their own choice, they realized that someone should know where they are at all times (while not wanting that information shared with someone who would regularly look and question their activities). somewhere in all this is the balance between sharing, and privacy.
but - modern corporations are also using this information to track you. Microsoft, Apple, Google, Amazon, and many more - they create the software on your phone, then they store that information and use it to market to you... and more.
in the 2002 movie 'Minority Report', Tom Cruise runs through a city where advertisements are changing for each user who walks by - and in 2013, Intel Corporation is already marketing systems to do just that. in fact, one of my fellow consultants was asked to join a team of corporate innovators who wanted to do that same thing.
and in all this you think - "I'm not one of those people, I live simple, I'm not online, I don't do the Facebook and the Tweeter and the posting pictures online".
actually, you do.
one of my clients and his wife avoid social media in general, and while he likes tech-toys, he doesn't use social media and she barely uses a cell phone which is turned off and shelved the instant she gets home from work. they are safe, right? wrong. her children post pictures of her on Facebook, her work has an email system, his nephews post pictures while visiting their vacation home, and they both shop online.
these are good people, they spend most of their free time at home or golfing, and periodically travel. they aren't living in the limelight, they aren't being followed by paparazzi or ex-relationships, and they are almost always together when not at work - so why the concern? and who cares if the marketing machines customize ads for them?
it's not about the ads - it's about the information.
information catalogs are being harvested online constantly - it is possible for someone to look up information on you on a level that would shock you. you may think you're not online, but you are - your company photo posted to the company website is probably linked to your name. your name was used when your friend emailed you from her Yahoo! account. she has emailed you many times, and in those emails are plans to go to certain places and may mention other people who you are now linked to. those people shop online... and the chain goes on and on.
if you think this isn't happening, check out this map from the MIT Immersion project, which (with permission) will show you how email services like my Google system can analyze email:
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| (click the above photo for a better view) |
if you're someone who emails me and you see your name above, you'll probably notice that for most of you there are lines and color coding that shows which circle of friends you're part of, the computer uses this analysis to define how we met, how often you contact me, and who else you're associated with.
don't believe me? feel free to try it yourself - https://immersion.media.mit.edu/
somewhere behind all this, is also the analysis of what you buy, where you go, and what you do with your time. and don't think living off the grid and only using cash solves this problem unless you plan to never leave home - the computers are biometrically tracking you as well.
think it impossible? feel free to watch this report from 60 Minutes about the use of facial recognition software and data mining in the United States today:
as shown in the report, students have managed to modify a toy that flies around and identifies people by their face. this information can be linked to the information found online and your history continues.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
almost nothing.
you can have some common courtesy and understand what is going on. for example: my map above doesn't include any complete names, and is an image of circles, so i'm not violating anyone's privacy here. odds are no one knows who 'Gavin' or 'KC' are, and if you do you have no reason to care that they emailed me or how much. i try to consider these things when i post things publicly online.
with common courtesy to others, should also be some understanding that others may not get it. if your friend has your kids at a pizza place and takes a picture of all of them playing together and later posts it online tagging you in it so you'll notice, they may think they are sharing a fun picture, and may not consider the possible ramifications.
and really, most of us should be living lives where none of this matters. the younger generations today are already of the understanding that there is no longer any privacy, and the few who haven't learned it yet are regularly embarrassing themselves on social media. my only concern from this is that we may be raising a generation of people who lead clean lives or become experts in lies and deception. so if you're a parent, second guess your kids regularly, and watch their online posts.
in the end, the general consensus amongst those in 'the know' is that our privacy is over. you may be able to ask others not to share information about you, and some will listen, but that won't stop your computer at work or the security cameras at the mall, and probably won't stop your kids who don't think for a minute that it will matter if they post a picture of dad online.
it is my opinion that the best of us will try to understand it, and maybe embrace it a little. we all do already, we have the email, we have the cell phones, we aren't going to stop using them. the time has come for us all to grow some thicker skin, take a deep breath, and let go of any desire we have to hide - because it's going to be torn away from us no matter what.
most of the people in my world are good and honest people, and even some of those carry the burden of being judged in the past... in that, they want to keep their lives to themselves. it makes sense on some level, no one wants to be judged, and no one should be unsafe with their information. but most of these systems have controls in place. like the geolocation systems i mentioned at the beginning of this, most provide some level of security from others.
but do not forget that big brother is watching, and someone you know may be better friends with him than you are.
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