I have the tweets at twitter.com/rjvalenta and the blogs (this) and the facebook at faceook.com/rjvalenta - is it like IM?
some people use Yahoo messenger, some people use AIM, some use MSN, and now there's GTalk... plus with iMessage looming another could be added. using the Apple provided iChat covers a lot of this, but there's a lot to cover.
so I'm wondering if there's a way to centralize all this in some fashion that doesn't involve some foreign hosted Jabber system, and might be mobile.
and then, I'd like a way to cross post to all these systems. maybe the first 140 just go to a tweet or FB, but anything less than 140 doesn't make a blog... and each post having all the various posting options to Places and Foursquare or including pics...
Monday, September 12, 2011
now that I'm 40...
I'm thinking about immaculate homes and perfect bodies, who is keeping a clean home and who has a maid... or who wants a pass for bad eating with the 'occasional glass of wine' they keep on their hips, and those who eat properly.
and I wonder if the challenge is really all that big.
I once lost a ton of weight and looked awesome, but my social like was ruined... can someone do both?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
and I wonder if the challenge is really all that big.
I once lost a ton of weight and looked awesome, but my social like was ruined... can someone do both?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Dickson Ave,Kirkwood,United States
Sunday, September 11, 2011
10 years
i was laying in bed at home asleep and ignoring a call that went to my answering machine (yes, because this was when we still used answering machines). i heard a friend coming through the speaker, laughing because 'some idiot crashed a Cessna into the World Trade Center'.
so i turned on CNN, and upon seeing the smoke called my friend Chris waking him up telling him he should turn on the TV. we each laid there in silence, watching... and then, the second plane hit.
from there, it was an epic day. my friend Alex had only been in town a few months after leaving school on the east coast against her parent's will and having not spoken to them. she came over and called her parents.
my friend who had initially called me was scheduled to give a tour of our city to visiting foreign business delegates, but none of them could focus. the rest of us sat and waited for more to unfold.
now its 10 years later.
it took 10 years, but not until the last week did i hear the story of how the hijackers gained hold of the planes... how they started by just killing a random person in first class to instill fear in those there, and then instantly afterwards rushing the cockpit, killing the pilots.
and over & over in my mind i think to myself how we can go back to a society where small kids can still visit the cockpit and meet the pilots. a society where travelers say goodbye at the gate, not rushed away by an airport cop from the drop-off lane.
but its more than that... go back to a society where people didn't live in fear of box-cutters, a society where we don't need to pawn off our security to a team of poorly educated ego hounds running invasive x-ray machines.
or maybe, it's move forward...
to a world where we're all educated and secure enough to know the balance between taking care of ourselves and that everyone deserves at least as much respect as we do. we can't hold muslims accountable for the crazy radicals any more than they can hold all Christians for the crusades. instead, we should partner with them, and together fight against the problems that leave us in the war which binds our hands today, finishing the problem as we memorialize those we lost.
so i turned on CNN, and upon seeing the smoke called my friend Chris waking him up telling him he should turn on the TV. we each laid there in silence, watching... and then, the second plane hit.
from there, it was an epic day. my friend Alex had only been in town a few months after leaving school on the east coast against her parent's will and having not spoken to them. she came over and called her parents.
my friend who had initially called me was scheduled to give a tour of our city to visiting foreign business delegates, but none of them could focus. the rest of us sat and waited for more to unfold.
now its 10 years later.
it took 10 years, but not until the last week did i hear the story of how the hijackers gained hold of the planes... how they started by just killing a random person in first class to instill fear in those there, and then instantly afterwards rushing the cockpit, killing the pilots.
and over & over in my mind i think to myself how we can go back to a society where small kids can still visit the cockpit and meet the pilots. a society where travelers say goodbye at the gate, not rushed away by an airport cop from the drop-off lane.
but its more than that... go back to a society where people didn't live in fear of box-cutters, a society where we don't need to pawn off our security to a team of poorly educated ego hounds running invasive x-ray machines.
or maybe, it's move forward...
to a world where we're all educated and secure enough to know the balance between taking care of ourselves and that everyone deserves at least as much respect as we do. we can't hold muslims accountable for the crazy radicals any more than they can hold all Christians for the crusades. instead, we should partner with them, and together fight against the problems that leave us in the war which binds our hands today, finishing the problem as we memorialize those we lost.
Monday, August 29, 2011
the tweeter
Larry, this is not 'the Tweeter', this is a blog. Twitter is considered a 'micro-blog', because as you should have noticed by now, you can only type 140 characters into each entry, whereas here i can type at length.
if you're still confused, this is me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/rjvalenta
and this is me on the Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/rjvalenta
now, go back to stalking everyone, you should be able to get your reports to others in order now.
PS - i don't care what you find on other people's pages, i'm happy you've got a national conversation going with old friends about it, but when those chicks want to chat those topics up, leave me out of it.
if you're still confused, this is me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/rjvalenta
and this is me on the Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/rjvalenta
now, go back to stalking everyone, you should be able to get your reports to others in order now.
PS - i don't care what you find on other people's pages, i'm happy you've got a national conversation going with old friends about it, but when those chicks want to chat those topics up, leave me out of it.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
i had a great day
i went to a wedding last night, two people i used to work with got married after years together. spoon went with me, which i appreciate because she tolerates not knowing anyone and she has an odd shy side. by the end of the night, we were both beat, and she dropped me off at home.
last night i slept like a rock, i love that about life, sleeping is awesome. i sleep best when my diet is good, when i get up early, when i exercise, when i avoid booze, and when i keep busy during the day... preferably with things that involve movement. its not really shocking, eating poorly irritates the body in many ways, as does booze, and movement & exercise by nature are tiring.
i didn't drink much last night, i ate properly, drank a lot of water, and got to see a lot of great old friends in person. really, its the 'in person' aspect of life which defines it, we get so caught up in the image we portray online and all the people we act like we have relationships with. i'm lucky in that people are hard on me, they say what they think of me in person... and thankfully, it isn't always pleasant.
so today, i got up and announced that i was going to get something to eat. i got a reply to go to the festival of nations with a few people and we did. we spent a few hours walking around and trying foreign foods - awesome. after, we met a few of the guys at a local favorite restaurant. they all split many pitchers, but i didn't really drink until one of them dropped a beer in front of me assuming i was in a bad mood.
some great conversation spawned from this, talk of life and how people felt and saw things. more people joined us (some invited and some not), the conversation continued as we sat outside, and after 5 hours a few of us moved on to another location for dinner.
four of us were left, and we had a great dinner. laughter and more conversation, and jokes about happenings in the past. we talked about anything from women to cars to investments and dreams. we talked about plans to travel, plans to get healthier, plans to do more things. one guy recently dropped his facebook page, so we talked about that... and the impact of people spending too much time online, or being too focused on making it their social life, and one guy who has once again has convinced many of the women that he's gay because of who he follows on twitter, ha (i purposely didn't touch that one, i'm tired of being blamed for people talking about that).
and the food was awesome, simple... not the healthiest, but fitting. for the day, we had all stuffed ourselves. everything was out on the table, for the day each one of us had talked about accomplishments and failures, pride and issues of complete embarrassment. and really, thats where we showed the best part of ourselves... our ability to admit flaws and personal beliefs, and accept it ourselves and in each other and let go.
i dont mean to sound like some kinda weepy extra from Oprah, but there was just no bullshit... it was awesome. no drama. basically, it was 'this is me, you all know this is me, if you have anything you're not sure of ask, i'll tell you the truth, and if you don't like it, fuck off, ha'.
and that was a big topic for a while - one of the guys is a major boy scout, he always carries himself well, and while he enjoys the company of persons who act the fool he is big on being 'respectable'... and he's not going to act that way only part of the time, he makes his own decisions - and if someone doesn't like it they can kiss off. of course, he's got nothing to hide and some would argue they do... but then one could ask, why they have to hide it...
and, in the end, the night wound down, and we went to leave... where we found someone had lost a few boxes of rubber gloves in the street, and each car that drove by popped like it was driving over a sheet of packing material. we stood and watched and had a laugh and ended our 12 hours out & about to go home.
it was just a good day, it was not planned AT ALL. it was just a few texts, and a few calls, and the decision that it was better to let go and have a day hanging out with people than laying around at home or keeping to some set of scheduled but unimportant ritual activities. it just happened.
let life happen people, be yourself, hide nothing, and let life happen.
last night i slept like a rock, i love that about life, sleeping is awesome. i sleep best when my diet is good, when i get up early, when i exercise, when i avoid booze, and when i keep busy during the day... preferably with things that involve movement. its not really shocking, eating poorly irritates the body in many ways, as does booze, and movement & exercise by nature are tiring.
i didn't drink much last night, i ate properly, drank a lot of water, and got to see a lot of great old friends in person. really, its the 'in person' aspect of life which defines it, we get so caught up in the image we portray online and all the people we act like we have relationships with. i'm lucky in that people are hard on me, they say what they think of me in person... and thankfully, it isn't always pleasant.
so today, i got up and announced that i was going to get something to eat. i got a reply to go to the festival of nations with a few people and we did. we spent a few hours walking around and trying foreign foods - awesome. after, we met a few of the guys at a local favorite restaurant. they all split many pitchers, but i didn't really drink until one of them dropped a beer in front of me assuming i was in a bad mood.
some great conversation spawned from this, talk of life and how people felt and saw things. more people joined us (some invited and some not), the conversation continued as we sat outside, and after 5 hours a few of us moved on to another location for dinner.
four of us were left, and we had a great dinner. laughter and more conversation, and jokes about happenings in the past. we talked about anything from women to cars to investments and dreams. we talked about plans to travel, plans to get healthier, plans to do more things. one guy recently dropped his facebook page, so we talked about that... and the impact of people spending too much time online, or being too focused on making it their social life, and one guy who has once again has convinced many of the women that he's gay because of who he follows on twitter, ha (i purposely didn't touch that one, i'm tired of being blamed for people talking about that).
and the food was awesome, simple... not the healthiest, but fitting. for the day, we had all stuffed ourselves. everything was out on the table, for the day each one of us had talked about accomplishments and failures, pride and issues of complete embarrassment. and really, thats where we showed the best part of ourselves... our ability to admit flaws and personal beliefs, and accept it ourselves and in each other and let go.
i dont mean to sound like some kinda weepy extra from Oprah, but there was just no bullshit... it was awesome. no drama. basically, it was 'this is me, you all know this is me, if you have anything you're not sure of ask, i'll tell you the truth, and if you don't like it, fuck off, ha'.
and that was a big topic for a while - one of the guys is a major boy scout, he always carries himself well, and while he enjoys the company of persons who act the fool he is big on being 'respectable'... and he's not going to act that way only part of the time, he makes his own decisions - and if someone doesn't like it they can kiss off. of course, he's got nothing to hide and some would argue they do... but then one could ask, why they have to hide it...
and, in the end, the night wound down, and we went to leave... where we found someone had lost a few boxes of rubber gloves in the street, and each car that drove by popped like it was driving over a sheet of packing material. we stood and watched and had a laugh and ended our 12 hours out & about to go home.
it was just a good day, it was not planned AT ALL. it was just a few texts, and a few calls, and the decision that it was better to let go and have a day hanging out with people than laying around at home or keeping to some set of scheduled but unimportant ritual activities. it just happened.
let life happen people, be yourself, hide nothing, and let life happen.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Mila, the genius
recently an article was posted on CNN.com where Mila Kunis discussed her loss of 20lbs off her already perfect body to play a ballerina in the film Black Swan.
she makes two points: first: the world judges, period, its that simple. even the nicest people who don't hold others responsible for their appearance still notice and form an opinion. second: anyone can lose the weight and look good if their want to... they just have to want to.
and ya know, its true - i was 'going' to lose weight this summer and i havent, in fact, i'm laying here right now stuffed with a lunch a friend and i enjoyed after i helped her setup her new phone. its been 3 hours, and i still feel stuffed. i ate that much. i am, that stupid.
i just did it, i wasn't thinking... i was hungry, she offered to buy some fast food, i went for it.
i don't even keep food in my house, and have stopped going out for fast food alone telling myself that i'm only going out to eat if there's a social or business reason which warrants the expense or if they're buying - an attempt to let finances control my efforts.
and still, i fail.
the truth is i know people who take care of themselves. who know better than to eat crap, and who know to always order the child's portion with water if crap is all that's available. AND SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE. and i'm not saying to not enjoy life - do you need soda and booze and greasy food to enjoy life?? i love that shit, but in reality, we shouldn't 'need' that to enjoy life. life can still be enjoyed without eating crap, life can still be enjoyed without picking the crap off other people's plate and feeling like you didn't eat it since you didn't order it, life is something you should be able to enjoy without soda and (yes, i'm shocked that i'm saying this) without booze. and most importantly, food can still be enjoyed - even bad food - in moderation.
so... i'm staring down 40, and i want to get back to what i call 'shoot weight'. but do i really? i have to want it.
as the great Yoda said, "do or do not - there is no try", so i'm done trying.
i actually got up and went to mass at 8am, then dressed for the gym. after that i got a call from my parents needing whatever and the friend who needed help, and before you knew it i was so full all i could do was take a nap. but, this needs to end.
for the last few weeks, i've had a friend who's been texting a group of us everything he puts in his mouth... and it was really fucking annoying. but, on some level, it caused him to be solely responsible for what he ate and the results. i'm going to do the same.
not via text, i'm not going to force it down anyone's throat, but from here i'm going to form a new blog and in a week or so make it publicly available, with pictures to show progress... 40 days of improved eating for the 40 year old man. we will start with a cleanse, and finish looking clean. there will already be problem meals coming, i have a charity dinner and two weddings in the next 3 weeks alone - but this is my plan. and hopefully, i can inspire everyone else.
because ladies, you're all as beautiful as Mila on the inside - there's no reason why at 40 you can't look just as good on the outside. hell, i already look that good, can you even imagine how awesome i'll look with some discipline?? you don't even KNOW how good i'll look! lock up your daughters!!
(i'm not going to worry about the guys, if they want to be fat and hairy that's their problem - you women will sex them up anyway.)
here is that article: http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/10/mila-kunis-if-youre-not-losing-weight-you-must-not-want-to/
she makes two points: first: the world judges, period, its that simple. even the nicest people who don't hold others responsible for their appearance still notice and form an opinion. second: anyone can lose the weight and look good if their want to... they just have to want to.
and ya know, its true - i was 'going' to lose weight this summer and i havent, in fact, i'm laying here right now stuffed with a lunch a friend and i enjoyed after i helped her setup her new phone. its been 3 hours, and i still feel stuffed. i ate that much. i am, that stupid.
i just did it, i wasn't thinking... i was hungry, she offered to buy some fast food, i went for it.
i don't even keep food in my house, and have stopped going out for fast food alone telling myself that i'm only going out to eat if there's a social or business reason which warrants the expense or if they're buying - an attempt to let finances control my efforts.
and still, i fail.
the truth is i know people who take care of themselves. who know better than to eat crap, and who know to always order the child's portion with water if crap is all that's available. AND SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE. and i'm not saying to not enjoy life - do you need soda and booze and greasy food to enjoy life?? i love that shit, but in reality, we shouldn't 'need' that to enjoy life. life can still be enjoyed without eating crap, life can still be enjoyed without picking the crap off other people's plate and feeling like you didn't eat it since you didn't order it, life is something you should be able to enjoy without soda and (yes, i'm shocked that i'm saying this) without booze. and most importantly, food can still be enjoyed - even bad food - in moderation.
so... i'm staring down 40, and i want to get back to what i call 'shoot weight'. but do i really? i have to want it.
as the great Yoda said, "do or do not - there is no try", so i'm done trying.
i actually got up and went to mass at 8am, then dressed for the gym. after that i got a call from my parents needing whatever and the friend who needed help, and before you knew it i was so full all i could do was take a nap. but, this needs to end.
for the last few weeks, i've had a friend who's been texting a group of us everything he puts in his mouth... and it was really fucking annoying. but, on some level, it caused him to be solely responsible for what he ate and the results. i'm going to do the same.
not via text, i'm not going to force it down anyone's throat, but from here i'm going to form a new blog and in a week or so make it publicly available, with pictures to show progress... 40 days of improved eating for the 40 year old man. we will start with a cleanse, and finish looking clean. there will already be problem meals coming, i have a charity dinner and two weddings in the next 3 weeks alone - but this is my plan. and hopefully, i can inspire everyone else.
because ladies, you're all as beautiful as Mila on the inside - there's no reason why at 40 you can't look just as good on the outside. hell, i already look that good, can you even imagine how awesome i'll look with some discipline?? you don't even KNOW how good i'll look! lock up your daughters!!
(i'm not going to worry about the guys, if they want to be fat and hairy that's their problem - you women will sex them up anyway.)
here is that article: http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/10/mila-kunis-if-youre-not-losing-weight-you-must-not-want-to/
Monday, August 15, 2011
blahblahblah - i cant hear you - blahblahblah
i have now had a FOURTH person ask me why a guy i know (who actually i'm not talking to) has recently become friends with someone on Facebook.
ok, to catch you up. the guy in question has over the years attempted to levy controls on me regarding my life, who im friends with, who i see out, and (ironically) Facebook & who i'm allowed to be friends with there... because, that's totally the way 40 year old straight men behave. then, people noticed this (which he blames me for, because this should have been a secret for some reason, also normal) and made other accusations which he found embarrassing. all of this anger started with someone being rude to him (10 years ago), because i'm also responsible for that too, and responsible for this person being in our lives. since then, close to half his friends on Facebook are friends with this random rude person and some even make plans with him. i'm not friends with him, and i dont make plans with him, but because of others i still see him out and get quizzed about why the guy is still making an issue of it, and why the rude person still has people joking with him about it - now apparently from women as far away as Texas.
ok, but i'm to blame for all this somehow - i could call the guy who believes i am responsible for this and remind him (again) of the others who maintain relationships with this rude person, and remind him (again) of our friends from college who make similar comments & inquiries, and then point out that i am at most the same as them, no, at least i'm not friends with rude person. in the end, somehow, i'm the problem.
so - for those of you who know who i'm talking about - I GAVE UP. roughly 3 months ago, the guy in question randomly sent me email in the middle of the night accusing me of being the reason you're all the way you are. and since then, i have given up. i didn't want to, but i'm just tired of dealing with it over and over and over, and until he can be honest with himself and his therapist and his parents and whoever else enough to grasp that the primary person to blame is him, i can't fight the impossible battle.
so, don't ask me why he's friends with this person - ASK HIM... ya know, in fact...
ASK HIM - if you want to know what his deal is...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he did whatever...
ASK HIM - if you want to know if he's going to hold something against you too...
ASK HIM - if you want to know what happend to the promise of the 'year of no hate'
ASK HIM - if you want to know if he's gay....
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he is friends with so many people who's friends with rude guy...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he's friends with so many people who he knows have made all the accusations he's angry about...
ASK HIM - if you want to know where he's been...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he said or did whatever you don't understand...
because, really, its about time he handled things himself - and its about time he realized how many people question his actions and so on... and really, since i'm not talking to him he can no longer blame me when (or if) he gives you an answer.
and really, lets face some reality, he's not going to answer you with anything but the perfection he wants you to believe. if the guy was as honest and straightforward and open as he likes to portray, we wouldn't have these problems and drama. so you're probably better off letting it go and watching from the sidelines like you have been. at least you get the show, i'm just not going to be the guest-star.
i like enjoying my life, everyone is welcome but if you're going to cause me hassle with your problems, i'm probably going to step back until you resolve them. i'll still be your friend, and even help if you need it, but until you can ask, i'm going to spend my time on honest open happiness. so... for those of you who've been wondering and just haven't asked... ask him.
ok, to catch you up. the guy in question has over the years attempted to levy controls on me regarding my life, who im friends with, who i see out, and (ironically) Facebook & who i'm allowed to be friends with there... because, that's totally the way 40 year old straight men behave. then, people noticed this (which he blames me for, because this should have been a secret for some reason, also normal) and made other accusations which he found embarrassing. all of this anger started with someone being rude to him (10 years ago), because i'm also responsible for that too, and responsible for this person being in our lives. since then, close to half his friends on Facebook are friends with this random rude person and some even make plans with him. i'm not friends with him, and i dont make plans with him, but because of others i still see him out and get quizzed about why the guy is still making an issue of it, and why the rude person still has people joking with him about it - now apparently from women as far away as Texas.
ok, but i'm to blame for all this somehow - i could call the guy who believes i am responsible for this and remind him (again) of the others who maintain relationships with this rude person, and remind him (again) of our friends from college who make similar comments & inquiries, and then point out that i am at most the same as them, no, at least i'm not friends with rude person. in the end, somehow, i'm the problem.
so - for those of you who know who i'm talking about - I GAVE UP. roughly 3 months ago, the guy in question randomly sent me email in the middle of the night accusing me of being the reason you're all the way you are. and since then, i have given up. i didn't want to, but i'm just tired of dealing with it over and over and over, and until he can be honest with himself and his therapist and his parents and whoever else enough to grasp that the primary person to blame is him, i can't fight the impossible battle.
so, don't ask me why he's friends with this person - ASK HIM... ya know, in fact...
ASK HIM - if you want to know what his deal is...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he did whatever...
ASK HIM - if you want to know if he's going to hold something against you too...
ASK HIM - if you want to know what happend to the promise of the 'year of no hate'
ASK HIM - if you want to know if he's gay....
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he is friends with so many people who's friends with rude guy...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he's friends with so many people who he knows have made all the accusations he's angry about...
ASK HIM - if you want to know where he's been...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he said or did whatever you don't understand...
because, really, its about time he handled things himself - and its about time he realized how many people question his actions and so on... and really, since i'm not talking to him he can no longer blame me when (or if) he gives you an answer.
and really, lets face some reality, he's not going to answer you with anything but the perfection he wants you to believe. if the guy was as honest and straightforward and open as he likes to portray, we wouldn't have these problems and drama. so you're probably better off letting it go and watching from the sidelines like you have been. at least you get the show, i'm just not going to be the guest-star.
i like enjoying my life, everyone is welcome but if you're going to cause me hassle with your problems, i'm probably going to step back until you resolve them. i'll still be your friend, and even help if you need it, but until you can ask, i'm going to spend my time on honest open happiness. so... for those of you who've been wondering and just haven't asked... ask him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
