the gentle knock...

i'm in LA... i'm at the Chateau Marmont on the pool desk with my MacBook Air, laying in the sun, its 75' and barely a cloud in the sky...

really, i'm only here by the grace of God and my friend Matt.  he has a client out here that calls on him often, very often, so often that the client knows he's being difficult so he tells Matt to come out here and bring a friend and stay here.  so my broke unemployed actor self gets to come and stay in this the quintessential Hollywood residence a couple times a year.

and on this trip, things got interesting...

first, we got here and i went to the front desk to check in.  Matt had left his phone in the car so i was the only one standing there and i was handed a letter.  the letter was an apology because the hotel was going to be hosting a party for Paramount Pictures that would consume the bar and restaurant during our stay.  however, to make up for the inconvenience, Paramount was extending an invitation to all the hotel guests to join the party.... and, awesome.

then, before matt's client meeting the client called and hurl was in the shower.  i answered.  when matt got to the meeting the client commented on how good it was that he brings a friend to keep from getting bored - and then mentioned his upcoming trip to China, and said we should join him for that... oh, and Cannes he has to go there too and doesn't want to... he's just going to get bored at these things, having his business advisor there would help, and another dude to keep things lively would be all the better.

woah - in the span of 36hours i've been included in a premier studio party celebrating the Golden Globes, a trip to the China for their up & coming film festival, and a trip to France for the Cannes Film Festival.  you can't tell because of the way i have myself seated, but flaming kittens are about to fire out of my ass!

ironically, in my year to clean up and fly right, i can't find a date to save my life for this party.  i know three gorgeous actresses in town, all three have plans... the woman i'd ask back home has zero desire to be in LA (and much less an industry event), and the two women i know in town have barely even acknowledged my presence here via comments online much less contacted me to see what's going on.  i was however lucky enough to strike up a conversation at a local pizza place with a rather attractive law student who claimed she wanted to go... however she works two jobs, and wasn't sure if she could bail early... we will see.

i've been good this year, my year of growth.  i haven't acted the fool, havent had reason to vomit or be asked to put my clothes back on, been waking up alone, so on... i'm being a grown up.  however, while i feel better, it sometimes feels limiting and lonely.

oh well, in 5 hours is the party, in 3 months are the trips.  well, really life is the trip, isn't it?

speaking visually, tied rhetorically

this afternoon my coach, the lovely and talented Carrie Houk, sent me an IM asking how i had been lately and encouraging me to go up to Washington University for a showing of the 1993 film “King of the Hill”. and, i must say i enjoyed it a great deal.

it was showing as part of the St. Louis International Film Festival (SLIFF), and included a panel discussion after which i enjoyed a great deal as well.

the film was good, great in fact, and included a lot of fairly well known names of great talent who (at the time) were not known at all. most importantly, it was shot in st. louis and a handful of bit parts were cast to local actors. of course, as most productions go, they cast the key roles out of los angeles without giving anyone in st. louis a chance.

i am DYING for someone to blow some life into recognition of st. louis actors. here i am, planning my escape to LA while spending all my professional time in chicago, without any hope of seeing real work here.

and my lovely union, SAG, is zero help. they’re rules state that i cannot act in any format for a non-union production, but they allow producers to roll into st. louis and produce great films like “King of the Hill” without much restriction on any roles that aren’t lead. my union restricts me, but puts little restriction on producers if the production isn’t in LA or NYC...



sad

ms saigon, and Say(ing) Goodnight

when i got up this morning, i knew i had things it would be nice to accomplish - or wanted to accomplish today. in the end, i spend the majority of my day helping my friend look for work instead of working on websites or acting. i’m banking on a little karma here.

while helping him i was talking to kirsten, and wanted to do something new today like any ohter day, so the decision was made to go to an African restaurant tonight. we made the plans, and then i was reminded that a film i was in would be showing tonight at the St. Louis Film Festival, and Dan assumed i would be there. after she left work, i squeezed in a trip to the gym, got to her house around 7:30pm, and went to the Loop.

upon arriving at Nubia, we saw only one customer inside, but was told that there is some kind of paranoia about places that don’t have any customers. rather than assume we missed the dinner rush, or that it was just a slow night, i was instructed that i could eat there, but i’d be eating alone because kirsten believed that being the only customers of the night would lead the restaurant to poison us. she also made a comment about how she didn't want to be the lone white couple inside. she would be offended that i pointed this out in a public forum, but will probably never read this, and i was offended by her paranoia and her comment, so we’ll call it even.

after this the debate over where we could go attempted to start, but i just told her to decide, i’m don’t fighting the rapidly growing list of rules based on unverified thoughts and paranoias which guide people’s lives. sadly, some day, i’ll also be the ass who wanted to try new things and didnt consider other people’s needs. what? because there’s always a current reference and i love rules? whatever, we end up at ms. saigon.

i’d had vietnamese food before, so it wasn’t the new experience i was aiming for, but i didn’t have to listen to her martyr herself for my thoughtless and life-threatening impulses either. i went out of my way to try something different anyway, ordering seafood & chicken on a bed of flash fried noodles. it was pretty bland, but since i generally don’t like vietnamese food i would have rather have had a tolerable new trial than a repeat of past experiences.

after dinner, we went to the film, and while there ran into my old friend Meredith. ‘Muzzy’ was there with 2 friends, and i think they were taking advantage of time away from the kids, because they’d had a few. during the film they solidly annoyed those around us with regular loud comments and normal volume random conversation... classic.

it was pretty obvious kirsten did not like the film, but it is totally a guy film, full of crass comments, etc. after we joined my friends who had produced the film at blueberry hill for a while, then walked back to the car around 1am in 25’ wind. i know she did want to see the film since i was in it, i can appreciate that, but i’m surprised she was ok hanging out with all these guys she didn't really know. i wouldn’t have. i didn’t get a good read on if kirsten was enjoying the night out with the film guys either, probably not too much. we’ll call us even on the dinner thing i guess.

as the night came to an end, i got email from the guy who’s still angry after 10 years. he’s still carrying his torch... and fine, he gets everything he wants. let’s face it, its not going to make him happy.