St. Louis loses a great - and it wasn't Stan the Man

i woke up this morning the same way a few other people i know did, to a phone call from our crying mothers.

mine was abrupt, in fact, i thought i was in trouble, "im going to make this short" she said, "ok" i replied...

and really, my generation lives in bliss because of their generation, its a fact, so i have no pre-disposition to unpleasant news.  plus, she was in what seemed to be an emotional state, and holding back something.

"Margie Sicking died last night" she said painfully.  and i was silent.

"ok" i replied... there was nothing else i could say.

"ok, i have to go" mom replied, then she hung up, obviously to let loose the tears that had been flowing since she heard.

Margie Sicking had been operated on the day before, and had a surgery my mother had gone through just two years ago.  Unfortunately, she didn't make it more than a few hours past the surgery and passed in the night, assumably quietly in her sleep, as she deserved to go.

She had lost her husband 3 years ago, and a sister each year since.  After 8 decades of being just about one of the most social people you could imagine, she was losing those in her life.

And while she had grown up in society and always been social, it was her giving nature that really made her a great person.

Her life was not perfect, she loved children more than anyone could imagine, but was unable to have any of her own.  Her husband was a genius, but like many mental giants had his own demons and always had a million projects going at a time, leaving life and home often in disarray.  And in this, she was always there for others, and became an integral part in the lives of so many that when they had sadness - she experienced sadness.

This morning I described her as a woman with no children, so instead my sister and I, and many of our friends who were the children of her friends, were her children.  She managed to send us all a card on every holiday, and every birthday, and make it to every celebration - and as children do, we all took her for granted.  She took some of us in when we would fight with our parents, she helped some of us get jobs, she was always willing to do us a favor... while rarely asking anything of us in return.  In fact, she rarely asked anyone for anything, giving was her thing.

She was a physical therapist by trade, and in 1987 when I had an accident that involved me on a skateboard and some oncoming traffic, she was there to monitor my progress and help get me back on my feet.  And helping me was just barely a glimmer in the light she brought to the world.

Countless people from refugees families adopted by our church to the disabled children of friends would owe their lives to Margaret Sicking.  But to her, it was just how you were supposed to live.

Again I am forced to wonder where we are headed as a world when I see so few from my generation living as so many did from the generation before us.  I cannot think of who from my peers will be the one who can even begin to show the world the same gift that she was.

Rest In Peace Aunt Margie, your children will miss you.

do i want the house?

i went to my parent's house today, mom likes to not be able to do things unless i'm there.  today she was unable to change the toner cartridge in her printer... and my dad wasn't sure how to make the VCR work... and any chance to feed me can't be missed.

while i was there, she gave me an antique lamp, something she had actually been trying to give me for some time.  while i was loading it into my car, she brought up their house, then asked me if i wanted the house.

WTF??

she danced a little, but she eventually came out and said, "you know, when we die".

WTF, MOM??

in the end, i had been asked years ago to be executor of their estates.  my father had been the executor of his parent's estates and received some kinda fee for it (which is apparently customary).  i however, have only one sibling, and no desire to debate with her over the value of things or any issues having to do with fees or why i was chosen to get the job.

i quickly loaded the lamp in my car, and quashed the discussion by reminding her that i wanted her to live in the home until she and dad were both gone, and then i felt liquidating everything to cash and splitting things as defined in their wills would be best.

but really mom - WTF??

i know we're supposed to have these talks, and make sure everything is worked out.  but for some reason, this threw me.