i have now had a FOURTH person ask me why a guy i know (who actually i'm not talking to) has recently become friends with someone on Facebook.
ok, to catch you up. the guy in question has over the years attempted to levy controls on me regarding my life, who im friends with, who i see out, and (ironically) Facebook & who i'm allowed to be friends with there... because, that's totally the way 40 year old straight men behave. then, people noticed this (which he blames me for, because this should have been a secret for some reason, also normal) and made other accusations which he found embarrassing. all of this anger started with someone being rude to him (10 years ago), because i'm also responsible for that too, and responsible for this person being in our lives. since then, close to half his friends on Facebook are friends with this random rude person and some even make plans with him. i'm not friends with him, and i dont make plans with him, but because of others i still see him out and get quizzed about why the guy is still making an issue of it, and why the rude person still has people joking with him about it - now apparently from women as far away as Texas.
ok, but i'm to blame for all this somehow - i could call the guy who believes i am responsible for this and remind him (again) of the others who maintain relationships with this rude person, and remind him (again) of our friends from college who make similar comments & inquiries, and then point out that i am at most the same as them, no, at least i'm not friends with rude person. in the end, somehow, i'm the problem.
so - for those of you who know who i'm talking about - I GAVE UP. roughly 3 months ago, the guy in question randomly sent me email in the middle of the night accusing me of being the reason you're all the way you are. and since then, i have given up. i didn't want to, but i'm just tired of dealing with it over and over and over, and until he can be honest with himself and his therapist and his parents and whoever else enough to grasp that the primary person to blame is him, i can't fight the impossible battle.
so, don't ask me why he's friends with this person - ASK HIM... ya know, in fact...
ASK HIM - if you want to know what his deal is...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he did whatever...
ASK HIM - if you want to know if he's going to hold something against you too...
ASK HIM - if you want to know what happend to the promise of the 'year of no hate'
ASK HIM - if you want to know if he's gay....
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he is friends with so many people who's friends with rude guy...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he's friends with so many people who he knows have made all the accusations he's angry about...
ASK HIM - if you want to know where he's been...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he said or did whatever you don't understand...
because, really, its about time he handled things himself - and its about time he realized how many people question his actions and so on... and really, since i'm not talking to him he can no longer blame me when (or if) he gives you an answer.
and really, lets face some reality, he's not going to answer you with anything but the perfection he wants you to believe. if the guy was as honest and straightforward and open as he likes to portray, we wouldn't have these problems and drama. so you're probably better off letting it go and watching from the sidelines like you have been. at least you get the show, i'm just not going to be the guest-star.
i like enjoying my life, everyone is welcome but if you're going to cause me hassle with your problems, i'm probably going to step back until you resolve them. i'll still be your friend, and even help if you need it, but until you can ask, i'm going to spend my time on honest open happiness. so... for those of you who've been wondering and just haven't asked... ask him.
ok, to catch you up. the guy in question has over the years attempted to levy controls on me regarding my life, who im friends with, who i see out, and (ironically) Facebook & who i'm allowed to be friends with there... because, that's totally the way 40 year old straight men behave. then, people noticed this (which he blames me for, because this should have been a secret for some reason, also normal) and made other accusations which he found embarrassing. all of this anger started with someone being rude to him (10 years ago), because i'm also responsible for that too, and responsible for this person being in our lives. since then, close to half his friends on Facebook are friends with this random rude person and some even make plans with him. i'm not friends with him, and i dont make plans with him, but because of others i still see him out and get quizzed about why the guy is still making an issue of it, and why the rude person still has people joking with him about it - now apparently from women as far away as Texas.
ok, but i'm to blame for all this somehow - i could call the guy who believes i am responsible for this and remind him (again) of the others who maintain relationships with this rude person, and remind him (again) of our friends from college who make similar comments & inquiries, and then point out that i am at most the same as them, no, at least i'm not friends with rude person. in the end, somehow, i'm the problem.
so - for those of you who know who i'm talking about - I GAVE UP. roughly 3 months ago, the guy in question randomly sent me email in the middle of the night accusing me of being the reason you're all the way you are. and since then, i have given up. i didn't want to, but i'm just tired of dealing with it over and over and over, and until he can be honest with himself and his therapist and his parents and whoever else enough to grasp that the primary person to blame is him, i can't fight the impossible battle.
so, don't ask me why he's friends with this person - ASK HIM... ya know, in fact...
ASK HIM - if you want to know what his deal is...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he did whatever...
ASK HIM - if you want to know if he's going to hold something against you too...
ASK HIM - if you want to know what happend to the promise of the 'year of no hate'
ASK HIM - if you want to know if he's gay....
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he is friends with so many people who's friends with rude guy...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he's friends with so many people who he knows have made all the accusations he's angry about...
ASK HIM - if you want to know where he's been...
ASK HIM - if you want to know why he said or did whatever you don't understand...
because, really, its about time he handled things himself - and its about time he realized how many people question his actions and so on... and really, since i'm not talking to him he can no longer blame me when (or if) he gives you an answer.
and really, lets face some reality, he's not going to answer you with anything but the perfection he wants you to believe. if the guy was as honest and straightforward and open as he likes to portray, we wouldn't have these problems and drama. so you're probably better off letting it go and watching from the sidelines like you have been. at least you get the show, i'm just not going to be the guest-star.
i like enjoying my life, everyone is welcome but if you're going to cause me hassle with your problems, i'm probably going to step back until you resolve them. i'll still be your friend, and even help if you need it, but until you can ask, i'm going to spend my time on honest open happiness. so... for those of you who've been wondering and just haven't asked... ask him.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment