About Chuck...

dear ndugu...

so here's the short and skinny since many many MANY have asked:  i have NO idea why Chuck is so angry.  no, i can't explain most of what he says about any of my friends or myself... i can give you some ideas we all have, but no, i don't really think any of it can actually be explained.

recently, a friend of mine and were discussing problems with his brother and sister and their need to fit into a mold, to follow and image, to be certain places and with certain people.  in the end, we just had to ask - WHY DO YOU CARE?  sure, if it will improve your life in some fashion, be at places and with people... but... more often than not, the reason, are empty.

the same applies here.

i cannot explain why chuck thinks i didn't go to SLU, while i went to many schools, SLU was one of them.  this was 20 years ago, i know this because i was at SLU when i hit 21 and went & got my plunger from Humphries... alone i might add, there was a party at my fraternity house that night, and everyone was busy getting ready, so i went alone.

the fraternity is important to chuck, he rambles regularly about it.  i don't know why he didn't go to a school with a Phi Delta Theta chapter and pledge, but he did not.  he claims he was around the house all the time when i was a pledge, and i dont remember that to be true... but after all, this was TWENTY years ago, so i may just not remember, because - who cares??

he seems to want to discuss my fraternity life often, i don't know why my past is important to him - but it's not just my past, it's Chris' past as well.  Chris not only went to SLU, but he graduated from there (i did not).  Chris' girlfriend at the time was a woman named Kajsa... Chuck claims he was in love with her.  except for running into her at a concert two years ago, I havent seen her in close to 20 years, but to the best of my knowledge she still lives near Delmar & 170 - go get her Chuck.

Chris was not there to 'shoot up' Chuck's car, it was 3 other guys, and they were shooting at Chuck at a stop light where he stopped in a well rusted old truck with PAINTBALLS.  at the time, we were all friends of Chuck's and one of the guys in the van shooting at him had even dated Chuck's sister.  it was supposed to be a humourous prank.

there was a time when i went to mass every morning, and i'd actually like to start doing so again as it's a good way for me to stay on a schedule.  often at mass there were a lot of soccer moms who seemed to work very hard on keeping up their appearance, and i commented online about them.  i do not go to 5 masses a day to pick up women with kids, and of course i'm not doing it so i can get at their kids.  kids are great for those who have them.  maybe some day i'll love my own kids, but generally, i dont like being around kids.  this is really common knowledge amongst my friends, i have no idea where Chuck pulled this from.

i'm not going to release my medical and criminal records to Chuck.  i know he demanded them online one day as part of his 'full disclosure' rant.  missouri's court records are available online anyway, and i'm not sure what my history of allergies and a broken leg is going to do to help Chuck prove all the travesties he's suffered through in life.

i have agreed to show any records to a reporter from the Ladue News or the Riverfront Times... because Chuck one day demanded we take the story of his persecution to a public forum and suggested those newspapers.  on some level i'm surprised he didn't at least go for the Post or STLToday.com, or at least a Suburban Journal or some kind of newspaper that wasn't all society pics and concert reviews.  but, whatever - if Chuck can somehow convince any newspaper to come interview me about all my crimes as a college party animal, i'll be more than happy to take the interview and show them whatever they want to see.

lately he's also made some rants about a guy we all knew in high school who's a respected St. Louis County cop.  he went to college, met a beautiful lady, they adopted a son, he's one of the best all-american guys we know.  Chuck contacted him to tell him that he goes to raves in the city and that he wanted to do an undercover buy to help him catch the drug dealers at the raves.  i consider the idea to be respectable on some level, but Chuck isn't a cop... and the raves, weren't in St. Louis County.  our cop friend told him he wasn't interested, for these reasons.  subsequently Chuck felt rejected - and began to rant online about how our friend must be a dirty cop.  no, he's not a dirty cop.

most posts from Chuck involve and original post and then follow up comments by him.  many have asked me who he's talking to in his replies.  it is what it is... he's talking to himself.

i actually hope the best for Chuck, i'm sure he doesn't believe that, but i do.  i see plenty of pictures of him and women, they seem to be in their early 20's and generally attractive.  hopefully since none of us know them, he will either prove it was us that ruined his life with women or prove that it is him.  either way, i hope it is a path to happiness for him.

the general consensus amongst many is that Chuck is getting to 40 and he is alone, and unhappy about the lost love he never had.  i can understand loving someone without the relationship... i cannot understand how he hasn't let it go 20 years later - but, his love wasn't lost because of us.  his love was lost because she was with someone else, and when she wasn't with anyone else she didn't find Chuck to be someone she was interested in.  if she did, she would have responded Chuck - love would have found a way.

Chuck seems to believe that he is 40 and single because my friends and I ruined his reputation with women.  actually, Chuck isn't a big topic of discussion for us... really we haven't talked about him at all until recently when his ramblings appeared online.  i'm not going to waste my time mentioning any of Chuck's actions from the past, they are readily available from anyone who wants to waste their time talking about it, or with a search through the state court records.  i will simply say that no one can ruin the image of a person who chooses to live a normal life.

and Chuck, if you every find this and read it... allow me to say again that i'm sorry you're so angry about the past, but i encourage you strongly to instead work toward the future.  work toward happiness, instead of focusing on the unhappy.  after all, if all these people caused you unhappiness in the past, why waste your time on them?  why care about them?  wish them well, and move on to a better life.