audacity & relationships

"the goal of audacity (questioning) is a balanced mutuality that nurtures all relationships. A relationship that operates in only one direction is not a relationship at all. It is one more form of illusion that causes suffering."

Comparative Religious Ethics

Fasching & Dechant, 2001, Blackwell Publishing LTD

I read this, and I wonder if people question the decisions they make with each other, and their futures. Do people ask, "how will my actions impact another?"?

Or is it, that they don't care?

I say all this, then I realize that the odds are good that most people who would be unable to accept others questioning their actions, are probably not secure & cerebral enough to grasp the depth of the statement.

When a person adopts a pet they really won't pay much attention to, just so they can feel a bond with something, is that fair? When a person takes a job they really don't care about just to get some cash without concern about the work they'll do, is that right? Are decisions that involve others where each person is simply addressing an issue respectful of each other?

I have a friend who's got 2 kids, widowed, and conflicted between settling for a guy who's totally into her though she's not totally into him. A friend of hers who settled to get a ring told her, "if he is a good person, how is that settling?".

I guess that logic makes sense. You get a good person, you will have a good future potentially.

But is it all about solving an objective? Is it fair to take a future from someone who wants it to be something big, when you just want something to address a need? Why not just get a roommate that puts out?

OR - question the system, face the question of why, and face the question of what the future holds... or what you both want it to hold.

So many people are big on their secrets, don't want people to know where they are & what they are doing, what they say online or to other people... kinda makes you wonder what they are hiding. Yes, I really do feel that if you have to hide all that, you're probably not trustworthy, and if your life was opened up there would probably be plenty you did that would be considered disrespectful to others.

And let's face it, no one is willing to take the step back required to come clean.

Because your relationships only go one way - your way. You can say that someone else hired you, you can say that you talk to your lover, you can say that you were qualified to adopt that pet. But, was it all about you?

Ha, I'm that guy everyone thinks little of because I'm too much in the moment. I dunno, maybe I'm the dumbass.