KEB came back into my life with a 2 page handwritten letter, after which we talked on the phone at length. I commented on my inability to find her over the years, especially with the internet... anyone can be found online with enough work: Facebook and Twitter alone can make easy work of finding someone, then there are services like Intelius if you're willing to pay to find people (and do background checks). With those are ways of fine tuning searches if you know where and how to look, professional sites like Plaxo & LinkedIn can provide the same benefit as Facebook, and even sites you wouldn't expect can do so and more. For example, I have nearly 100 albums in Picasa, which does face recognition and links to people in my address book. Anyone in my Picasa could be found and in that, a method to reconnect.
As long as someone isn't the kind of person who hides everything online and goes out of their way to hide what should be unimportant details, you should be able to find something they are involved in and thus a way to reconnect. If not, they're either a paranoid who's probably not very trustworthy, or, they are one of the rare few who have somehow avoided the internet.
KEB was one of the latter. She had an email address, but that was it. She had a laptop, but never learned how to use it well. And, she had a boyfriend she was eager to get rid of who didn't like the idea of their lives being online... shocker, he's a cheater. After years of letting her codependence control what she did with life, she wanted to get on the information superhighway - and into the fast lane. Ironically, her reconnection with me was perfectly timed.
After the last 2 weeks of helping her with this, I thought it would make a good write up. No matter where you stand with the internet, I think these tools can help. I'm going to consider the 'standard' to be Apple's MobileMe service and iLife. It provides online storage, email, web space, blog space, Photo organization and gallery, a calendar for scheduling your life, a contact management system, and mobile connectivity.
First, get a Google account... sign up for Gmail. Even if you have an email account that you've been using for over a decade, sign up with Google. You don't have to use it for the email address - think outside the box - it's not just email we're going for here. Within Google is everything someone could need, email with gmail, webspace with google sites, blog space with blogger.com, a youtube account to share videos, Picasa to organize and share photos, a calendaring system, a contact system, and access from mobile devices via Exchange connectors.
The best part - its free. At this point, you have the infrastructure in place to do almost anything.
I would also recommend getting a Yahoo! account, and use the same name for that that you used for your Gmail account. Why? Its just easier that way. And don't be stupid with your account names - make them something you can use that's short and easy. Examples:
Initials and last name: flast@yahoo.com
Last name and birth year: last81@gmail.com
...and so on.
From here, now we need to know what you have now, and what you want to do.
KEB had a year old laptop and a 5 year old flip phone with a VGA camera. The laptop works, the phone needed to be replaced. I'm a mac guy, and in that I like iPhone. However, as PCs are to Macs, Android is to iPhone - and Android was designed by Google. So find a carrier your like (I would assume your current carrier is good) and see what they have that is Android based... or if you're with AT&T, consider iPhone.
Yes, this will cost you a few hundred dollars and increase your cell phone bill. BUT, some of the newer Android based phones like Nexus1 (AT&T and T-Mobile), Droid Incredible (Verizon) and the EVO 4G (Sprint) are crazy with features. The EVO has and 8mp camera!
Once you have a smartphone, get in sync. Get your computers and your phones connected so they keep their information in 'the cloud'. You should be able to check your email on your computers and your phone, setup your calendars for the same access, and your contacts lists as well. Any changes you make on one device, should be reflected in other devices - because the information isn't kept on the computer or phone, its kept online.
At this point, I'm going to take a break - maybe I'll continue on or I won't... I've been blogging a lot lately because I've had a lot on my mind and find it cathartic. I may have a great day and never come back... but, from here we're going to sign up for various websites, get more equipment, network a little, organize our media, and get life online.
If you're the kind of person who's worried about people knowing too much about you, face the reality that probably, no one really cares, get over yourself and learn to enjoy. If you're worried about criminals and ex-lovers, you have to remember to not let bad people impact you... and do things in general terms and ways. For example: I live in either Kirkwood, Missouri or Elmhurst, Illinois, and as I'm writing this I can tell you that I'll be bouncing between both locations all summer. Does this leave me exposed to stalkers or burglars? No, I haven't given anyone my address, my schedule, or the schedule of those in my life who also come & go from my homes.
From here, when I get back, if I get back, we're going to get on some sites and get around, and then archive life online.
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