family tied

This weekend is the Family Picnic for my mom's side... over 700 people. I've been asked to help out early in the morning, and it will be at the family farm so I'm going out there tonight, I'll crash there, get up early, my cousin will say mass, I'll spend all day eating stuff I shouldn't eat... and then I'll probably post the pictures in my WebAlbums, which the world will ignore, much like this blog.

I do love them all, they are so encouraging, and so positive in general.

My cousin however, won't be there this year... she's had to quit her job, and skip all other events because she is planning her wedding in Chicago. She recently asked me to be an usher. Of course, I said yes.

Later I received email sent to me and the other ushers, telling us where to stay and where to rent our tuxes... and that we were paying for everything ourselves. What? In my nearly 20 years of being in many weddings, no one has asked me to cover the tab on their party that they created the expense of. Is it a lot of money, no.... but I'm an actor who's been getting by on side jobs & the support of loved ones, if I wasn't already going to be in Chicago then, I probably wouldn't be able to go, much less cover the tux and the rumored night of drinking I'm hearing she expects her family guys to provide to the non-related members of the wedding party.

So, I told her I was out on the usher job... now I don't even know if I'll get an invitation to the event.

Someday, when I finally take that plunge I want it to be a picnic, where everyone can just hang out. Well, really, I think the idea of the old school Saturday night wedding where all the men have to wear tuxes (even guests) and the women have to be formal is really cool.... maybe a small one like that where no one feels like they're being pushed into an expensive thing (maybe if I could afford to cover all the tux rentals for the guests too), and then a picnic reception party the next day for 1000 of our closest.

I really don't think life has to be so formal, sure at times there are reasons, but I don't see a reason to force that formality on others. And I'm confused by weddings - I hear so often that a wedding is supposed to be this joyous party... but really, has anyone ever been to a formal event that wasn't a wedding? A corporate dinner, or a charity function? They are not joyous.

But, people are people. Confusion and rules and insecurity. OH! and I think I'd want the 'does anyone object' line in my wedding too - seriously, its old school, and I really don't think anyone has the balls to say anything.... plus, it would be totally fun for us to take a second to look out into the crowd and wait - ha.

Hmm... and I'd also want the REALLY old school 'obey' line added back into her vows, because really, I think we all know that whoever she is, she's going to rule my life and it won't matter.