I'm Good Luck Chuck!!

so... what's up with the women in my life getting engaged - tonight Ronda got engaged and set a date! I think they've been together for almost 3 months. Two days ago my sister got engaged, she spent a good chunk of tonight arguing with people about how this wedding will finally be hers because of course she was the victim in her original wedding and didn't get to choose anything. My most recent ex got engaged after what she's calling 5 months, ha, and my cousin has turned her engagement into such a soap opera that I have people in my family going out of their way to NOT go to the wedding.

The best part - none of them want to hear that there's the slightest chance they are wrong... marrying after a few months, or the horrific controls issues, the need to have their party be perfect, the pomp & circumstance, and the bridezilla factor. Really? Awesome.

The irony, today is my parent's 42nd anniversary. Mom told the story tonight of how her marriage wasn't even planned by her, how she wasn't concerned about it all & had originally just wanted a small wedding, she just wanted to spend the rest of her life with my dad. I wonder what the young ladies with their new rings would say about my mother.... until the idea of losing their show and jewelry came up. Oddly, I know they all think of my mother with the highest regard, for now.

My mother doesn't even wear her wedding ring, at 38 I don't remember her wearing it much at all. Recently when I was helping her inventory her home for insurance reasons, she told me the ring had been in storage at a bank for decades. My father, I'm not even sure he has one. Can you imagine just being dedicated to someone without hanging a sign on your hand?

Hmm... if I get married by December, give up the biggest rock and make it a bigger production, bring in all the great photographers I know, pull in all the favors I can with country clubs and whatever else and do everything that's supposed to be done, with the best flowers, and dresses, and tuxes... will they come and see all the love behind it?

After all, that's what it's about right, the love? I wonder how many of these couple would go on forever if they never had rings, never had the big parties, didn't need multiple events showcasing their importance and... How many of them could have friends, how many would make the same decisions, and how many would be honest and true and their relationship would stay solid and secure. Is it the rock, the event and the restrictions that make the love? I mean, if you have to have all the rules and such, is that really the person you want to be with? And if you couldn't make a production of it, would it be the same?

I remember telling a woman once that Gene Simmons was genius with his proclamation of being 'happily unmarried' for twenty-something years. Never strayed, 2 kids, great life. That's awesome, I want a gal who just wants to be with me for the rest of time. Sadly, none of them can say that.

Good God ladies - can you imagine? Just being with someone without the production of it all? Holy crap - no ring to show off to the other ladies so you can show all you've done with your life??

Crazy. Someday, maybe I'll understand what love & marriage means. 7.1 people per 1000 get married in the USA, 3.5 per 1000 will divorce. Your odds of failure are basically 50/50 (http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm), worse if you're on a second marriage or the child of divorce. But, at least you get the party and a lot of rules.

I think I'd rather have a best friend than a production or a suitable mate. My current great friends don't limit me, they don't need a party or jewelry, they don't need a lot of reinforcement or care if I hang out with other people, and they'll be there forever. It's too bad I don't want to see them naked.

Congrats ladies! I got my cousin's invite today and I actually look forward to going to the rest of the events as well! For what its worth, I'll be behind you all no matter what happens... even without finding a way to make a big deal of it.